Skwerly Life

LOLbaby

2007-10-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

I've been making up a bunch of LOLbaby pics of Eva lately, and some of them are pretty funny. Here dey is.

50 Girly Questions

2007-02-27T22:14:00.000-08:00

50 girl questions, courtesy of catlover...answer them with the truth.

What color is the bra do you have on?
~ Not wearing one (the travails of constant breastfeeding- it's convenient)

Do you straighten your hair everyday?
~ It straightens itself when I blowdry, which is about once a week now.

Do you worry about the size of your boobs?
~ Sometimes...they're too big for my liking/comfort.

What's your favorite girly magazine?
~ Martha Stewart Living

Would you kill for chocolate?
~ Hell yes

Jeans or skirts?
~ Jeans

Do you wear clothes/shoes/jewelry that's uncomfortable?
~ Yes, most bras that I own- see aforementioned too-big boobies.

Did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy?
~ Yes

Would you leave the house without makeup on?
~ Only to get the mail or take out the trash or go work out

Do you consider making out "unladylike"?
~ Hell no! It's a lot of fun!

On a scale of 1-10, how fun is shopping?
~ 8

Are you spoiled?
~ Not to the point of being ungracious or demanding.

Do you think lipgloss is the best?
~ I prefer Neutrogena lip balm- gloss is too sticky, and my husband won't kiss me if I'm wearing any "gooey crap" on my lips.

Do you freak out if you miss your favorite show?
~ Nah- Spike TV shows CSI: reruns all the time.

Do you yell a lot?
~ Nope

Do you wear sweatpants/pajama pants to school/work?
~ Considering I work at home now, yes. When I was in an office, never!

Accessories make the outfit; true or false?
~ Totally true

Do you like skater boys?
~ Heck yes! My husband is a former sk8r.

Is pink truly the best color in the entire universe?
~ No way. Blue or green. But on a Baby Skwerl, it's mos def cute.

Lip gloss a must?
~ Previously asked, previously answered.

Have you ever dressed unlike yourself to impress a guy?
~ No

Do you often wish there was something you could change about yourself?
~ Yes, but I don't spend too much time on that because most everything can be changed, if I really want to.

Gold or silver?
~ White gold (with diamonds, duh)

The guy that you like/love/whatever, what does his name begin with?
~ C

Do you dress up too much for holidays?
~ Too much? No. Just right!

Do you like wearing dresses?
~ Yes

Do you write a lot of mushy love poems?
~ I've written a few.

On a scale of 1-10, how much do guys confuse you?
~ Guys are crystal clear. It's women that are damn confusing.

What makeup could you not live w/out?
~ Mascara

What I've learned so far about being a mom

2007-02-26T00:09:00.000-08:00

Having had the tewtelly adorable Bebeh D'Skwerly around for almost 3 months now has taught me a few things.

Here is a list of some of the stuff I have learned.

~ No matter how diligently you diaper your precious baby, eventually, poop will make its way up her back and all over her clothes.

~ A Sam's Club (or Costco) membership is worth the fees, because you can get a box of 216 Pampers diapers for around $37. (A 40-pack from the grocery store usually runs around $10.) Wipes in bulk and a jumbo sized bottle of Shout have also come in quite handy for the aforementioned poop.

~ The cute little printed terry burp cloths from the baby department are absolutely useless. They soak right through. I've wound up using more sturdy towels out of my kitchen and bathroom instead.

~ All those onesies and footie-jammies sure looked adorable at the beginning, but now that she's almost 3 months old, I'm getting tired of seeing her in only pajamas. Time for some real clothes! Eensy dresses! Tiny jeans! Wee cardigans!

~ The cutest baby socks (Winnie the Pooh socks from Target) were the crappiest fitting. They have wide ankles and tiny feet, leading them to fall off constantly.

~ Disregard everything you hear during pregnancy about what parenthood is going to be like. You really can't know until you get here just how much it changes you, your marriage, and your life.

~ I never imagined I'd enjoy this weird combination of smells on my baby- a mixture of breastmilk, baby powder, and Boudreaux's Butt Paste.

~ The other night, just when I thought I was going to lose it over being awake at 4 a.m. yet again (not having gone to bed at all), I looked down at my baby while she nursed. At that moment, she stopped nursing long enough to smile at me, with milk drooling from the side of her mouth. All was right with the world.

~ My husband has wound up being WAY more neurotic about stuff than I have, which surprised me. (We both have our neuroses, but I thought I'd be the wackier one.)

~ I can't imagine doing this without my husband, and I absolutely cannot fathom why anyone would willingly undertake it alone.

~ Mothers who work outside the home are jealous of those of us who only work inside it, regardless of the fact that I planned it this way with a lot of hard work and a careful choice of a man who wanted to support a family. Not that I blame them- you'd have to be a real sociopath to want to be away from your child(ren) all day long, with someone else doing the raising. But they turn their righteous envy into a shitty attitude and snarky comments about me being "lucky," or that it "must be nice." As my darling husband says, if you're pissing people off, you must be doing something right.

What I've been busy with lately

2006-12-28T22:03:00.000-08:00

Meet Baby Skwerl, born on Dec. 6th. Her arrival came as somewhat of a surprise. (Obviously, I knew I was going to have her eventually- the date, however, was earlier than expected.) My OB-Gyn had scheduled an inducement for Dec. 13th because of my high blood pressure, and my regular due date had been Dec. 21st.

When I went in for a non-stress test at 11 a.m. on Dec. 5th after a doctor's appointment, I was told that the baby was experiencing variable decelerations- she was crimping her umbilical cord and causing her heartrate to fluctuate. It was also seen on ultrasound that there was a section of cord wrapped loosely around her neck. The doctor assured me that this was fairly common and not likely a problem, but told me that I would not be going home that day.

In order to maintain control over my labor and delivery, and prevent problems that could arise outside of immediate medical attention, I would be staying in the hospital and having my inducement a week early. Being the control freak that I am, I FREAKED OUT. I pleaded with the doctor to let me at least go home for a few hours to get things squared away- I had so much planned for the next week (Christmas stuff, housecleaning, etc.), and I was in my last days of work with a lot of loose ends needing attention.

No dice. She calmly explained the situation, and insisted that I should stay in the hospital, and said that I would be having my baby the next day. Wow. I called my husband and family, checked into a room in labor and delivery, and waited around until that evening, when they started a Pitocin drip to soften my cervix and prepare for full inducement the next morning.

On Wednesday at about 4:45 a.m. the Pitocin was increased, and labor began. They broke my water around 8:30 a.m., and I had regular (ahem, painful!) contractions until deciding to have the epidural at around 3 p.m. Boy, am I glad I did that!

Labor progressed quickly and painlessly, and by 7:45 p.m., I was dilated enough to begin pushing. After just over an hour and twenty minutes of pushing, our daughter was born with her umbilical cord tightening severely around her neck just as her head delivered. The cord was quickly cut and she was rushed off to the Neonatal ICU. I didn't even get to see her. My husband and I sat stunned and terrified, not knowing what would happen next.

The doctors said she experienced "severe depression" and could have died. Baby Skwerl remained in the NICU for six days, showing marked improvement every day. After the first day, her respirator tube was removed and replaced with a nasal tube delivering oxygen. On the third day, we got to hold her for the first time. It was five days before I got to attempt breastfeeding.

On the sixth day, Tuesday, Dec. 12th, our sweet baby got to come home- healthy and gaining weight.

That's all for now. There's so much more to be said about this entire experience, but right now, I'm turning off my computer and turning my attention back to this adorable tiny girl sleeping on my chest.

Dear Sprint

2006-11-17T14:05:00.000-08:00

A cross-post from a blogger I read regularly, the venerable JKrew.

Click me

Random Ten Wednesday

2006-11-15T12:12:00.000-08:00

It's Wednesday! Yay!

As of tomorrow, I'll be officially FIVE WEEKS AWAY from my due date. Wow, good grief...has this pregnancy flown by! I really can't believe the baby is almost here. I am looking forward to meeting her. My belly is getting huge, and I'm having a more difficult time walking around, standing, and sleeping.

Two of my aunts threw me a baby shower last weekend, and it was quite nice. We were given many, many lovely gifts for our wee girl by family and friends.

Here's my Random Ten for today!

~Radiohead : Creep
~Shakira: La Pared (Versión Acustica

Eres como una predicción de las buenas
Eres como una dosis alta en las venas

Y el deseo gira en espiral
Porque mi amor por ti es total
Y es para siempre

Después de ti la pared
No me faltes nunca
Debajo el asfalto

Y mas abajo estaría yo

Después de ti la pared
No me faltes nunca
Debajo el asfalto

Y mas abajo estaría yo
Sin ti

Eres la enfermedad y el enfermero
Y ya me has convertido
En tu perro faldero
Sabes que sin ti
Ya yo no soy
Sabes que a donde vayas voy

Naturalmente
Después de ti la pared
No me faltes nunca
Debajo el asfalto
Y mas abajo estaría yo

Después de ti la pared
No me faltes nunca
Debajo el asfalto
Y mas abajo estaría yo
Sin ti

~Frou Frou: Let Go
~Led Zeppelin: Kashmir
~Trans-Siberian Orchestra: Revenge of the Sugar Plum Fairy
~John Mayer: Love Song for No One (Live)
~Jesse Cook: Tango Flamenco
~Plump DJs: Bullet Train
~Paperboy: Ditty
~Fiona Apple: Slow Like Honey

An open invitation for your opinions

2006-11-03T12:16:00.000-08:00

I don't do this often - solicit other people's opinions, that is - generally because I live my life by the belief that most people are full of crap. But I have a genuine quandary, and I'd appreciate some insight from outside sources.

It's been mentioned in more than one post that I am an atheist. I used to be Catholic, and was downright bible-thumpin' Christian for a few years before my downward spiral into abject heathenism. I've been secular for about 12 years now - happily so. Living as I do in the Shiny Brass Buckle of Bubba's Big Bible Belt, I am of course surrounded by Christians of all types. Most of the time, we coexist in relative peace. I am not often the subject of rabid proselytizing. The few friends I have at my job are well aware that I'm a non-believer and they are still nice to me. The problem I face is much more subtle - e-mail.

Today alone, I've received five mass emails from coworkers with heavy religious themes. Four of them were the same email- one of those "pass this along to everyone you know" things. Basically, this email says if you love Jesus, you'll forward the email to everybody.

My usual response is to delete the crap, but it's starting to get really old. Christians (and everyone else, for that matter) are more than entitled to their beliefs, but I am not interested. I try to practice responsible email. If a missive contains opinions of any kind, I do my best to only forward it to those I am sure will agree with it. Just because I hold particular beliefs and opinions does not mean others should have to read it, or even receive it.

So save your typing on the "just delete it" suggestion. I've been "just deleting" them, and it's only getting worse. Think about this: If I was sending you atheist propaganda or some political stuff you disagreed with all the time, wouldn't you get tired of it?

I have once gone so far as to ask one girl to not send me anything religious, but apparently she forgot and thus continues to do so. I was polite in my request, and would not be impolite or bashing to anyone else.

What am I supposed to do?

My boss is begging to be sued...

2006-11-01T10:53:00.000-08:00

...mostly because of his own blind eye toward the actions of our operations manager, whom I shall call Tammy.

Earlier this year, it was made known (though not by any specific distribution of policy or official announcement) that family members or friends of employees would no longer be hired.

(It should be mentioned that the company has experienced at least part of its growth in the past 3 years due to the buddy system of employment. My husband and I both work here in two different capacities, IT and accounting. But my husband did not recommend or hire me- the company president did.)

Since then, according to the grapevine, two women have been specifically told by Tammy that their family member could not come apply for a job- one woman whose daughter wanted to apply, another whose brother sought to work here.

Despite these two denials, the so-called policy has been bent for other people. The totally incompetent sister of a manager was hired this summer. The cousin of our former receptionist was also hired. Now, today, Tammy's husband is here as a "filing temp." This position has been held before by other people who wound up working for us full time.

You might wonder how this has anything to do with my post title, that my boss is begging to be sued. Well, ladies and germs, the prospect comes from the fact that the employee whose brother wanted to apply here happens to be black. If this lady and her brother wanted to, they could slap my boss with an EEOC claim that would make his head spin.

It would be difficult to dispute. Tammy's mother works here in Tammy's department, and her grandmother is employed as our cleaning lady. Her husband is now acting as a filing clerk, supposedly only for a few days. At least three other women working here were friends of Tammy's when they were hired, before the policy was set in place. Then you have the two other relatives of other employees that were hired.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Cutest. Puppeh. Video. EVER.

2006-10-30T15:37:00.000-08:00

The FEETS, people, the feets! And the shtoompy legs! And the seepy eyes! And the floofiness! And the floppity ear! And the wee pink tongue!

*gack*

The long, slow demise of proper etiquette

2006-10-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

Another nail in the coffin of proper etiquette...the fading away of the RSVP. What is it with the lowly RSVP that causes people to shun it so? I've had three instances in which invitations for an event were mailed with a clearly stated request for a reply. In each situation, I had to track down many of the invitees and see if each was planning to grace the event with their presence. And, in each, I had people who declined the invite show up, and people who said they would come but did not.

The first event was my sister's bridal shower. The second was my own wedding. The most recent is my baby shower, being graciously hosted by two of my aunts. The party in honor of my sweet unborn daughter will be held on Nov. 11th. So far, only one person has called to give their response to my aunts.

What gives?

A close call at 3 a.m.

2006-10-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

My crochet group had a meetup today at a local yarn shop, but I could not drag my carcass out of bed this morning to attend. We had an interesting event last night at the casita that caused me to be up well past 3 a.m.

I was in bed barely asleep and my husband was playing a computer game at about 2:45 a.m. when our phone rang. Some guy on the other end asked my husband if he sold drugs. Of course my husband said "No," but the guy was persistent and then told my husband he'd better go check his front door.

Needless to say, that freaked my hubby out a little. He woke me up, 9mm in hand, and we both listened quietly (inside the house, burglar alarm set) for several minutes before calling the cops. The local PD showed up pretty quickly and checked things out. We talked briefly to them and they left. I went back to bed, but the adrenaline kept me awake for quite a while.

It was likely either a wrong number or a prank, but if it had not been, someone could have gotten their stupid arse shot by either my sweet darling or by me. Never mess with two good shots who have a baby, ourselves, and 3 beloved dogs to protect!

I need a freaking miniature Dachshund like NOW

2006-10-19T14:37:00.000-07:00

Taken from this post on my favorite blog, CuteOverload.

Yet another reason why dogs are better than humans

2006-10-18T08:17:00.000-07:00

Dog saves owner, but dies trying to rescue cat

Pregnancy update

2006-10-13T09:09:00.000-07:00

I'm now 30 weeks pregnant with our baby girl. Things are generally going well. She has been very active, kicking and punching me on a regular basis. My husband can now feel her move, mostly on my left side where she kicks. I've tried to explain to him how it feels- it's not painful at all, but it's certainly disconcerting sometimes. My best comparison for most of the movement is that it feels like the strong gut rumbles that signal trouble down below.

I'm continuing to have elevated blood pressure, so my doctor has put me on modified bed rest. Basically, when I'm not at work, I'm supposed to be taking it easy. This means no shopping trips, no more Jazzercise classes, and more time sitting or lying down.

My husband has made a moderate effort to help, usually helping me make dinner, and doing the dishes every night. It's hard for me not to correct how he puts things away (in the wrong places), and last night I watched him wipe crumbs from the stove onto the floor. I asked him why he did that, and he didn't have a real answer. I just rolled my eyes. He's not a generally messy person, he picks up after himself, and I really appreciate the help, so I'm doing my best to shut my mouth.

I've also now been prescribed blood pressure medication called Aldomet, which is supposed to be safe during pregnancy. They'll probably have to up the dose, since I'm still having elevated pressure after over a week.

The first four nights of this week, I didn't sleep worth a good goddamn. Yesterday morning, I took a few hours off in the morning (which luckily, I can do at my job) and tried to get more rest. I finally figured out that aside from numerous nightly bathroom trips, what was keeping me awake was hip and pelvis pain.

Basically, you're supposed to sleep on your side after a certain point in pregnancy, which I have been doing. The problem was that apparently I'm experiencing a lot of muscle and ligament stretching in my pelvis and hips, which is normal but can be quite painful, especially when lying on your side. The pain was keeping me up and making me toss and turn. So I started sleeping with a pillow between my knees, and last night, I slept fairly well.

I'm also starting to feel like my guts have all been shoved northward. Most of my big belly right now is the upper half, which is not baby, but my innards. I can't eat as much at one sitting before feeling stuffed, and I've had indigestion and heartburn pretty frequently. A bottle of Tums is now my best friend, because although I keep getting heartburn, I still love spicy food and acidic things like juice and tomatoes. Such is life.

All things considered, I really enjoy being pregnant. But I also can't wait for mid-December, when we get to finally meet our tiny daughter and see her precious face. She's pummeling me right now, probably reminding me, "Mama, get back to work!" And so it goes.

Some of my favorite quotes

2006-10-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

"You have to forget about what other people say- when you're supposed to die, when you're supposed to be loving. You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven."
-Jimi Hendrix

"As I would not be a slave, so would I not be a master."
-Abraham Lincoln

"A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary."
-Thomas Carruthers

"A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students."
-John Ciardi

"It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts."
-Millard Fuller

"College isn't the place to go for ideas."
-Helen Keller

"The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind."
-William James (1842-1910)

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains."
-Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable and praiseworthy."
-Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

"Pray (v.): To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."
-Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

"When government takes responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves."
-George Pataki

"Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work."
-Al Capp

"We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read."
-Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal."
-Erich Fromm

"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."
-Albert Einstein

"A liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested."
-John Grisham, The Brethren

"When the student is ready, the teacher appears."
-Buddhist adage

"He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
-Albert Einstein

"If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants."
-Albert Einstein

"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."
-Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)

"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
-Woody Allen

"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart."
-Henry Louis Mencken

"There are two rules to success in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know."
-Unknown

Two articles that have pissed me off

2006-09-20T14:46:00.000-07:00

While these two articles are not necessarily today's hot topics, they are two things I have been stewing about for a few days. I also felt like I needed to finish my "100 Things" post before putting these up.

This article is but one illustration of why I think PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) sucks.

This group of so-called animal lovers has publicly blasted Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter, after his tragic death from a stingray barb to the chest. Their website calls him a "cheap reality TV star" who made a career out of "antagonizing frightened wild animals."

I am one of the biggest animal lovers you will ever meet. Steve Irwin's show was not necessarily the kind I'd like to watch, but that was mostly because I am terrified of snakes. However, I certainly have always had deep respect for his sincere affection for animals. For PETA to publicly lambast a still-warm dead man is shameful.

This article is a perfect illustration of why radical Islam truly frightens me. The reaction of Muslims to a quote taken out of context from a 14th Century writing shows with perfect clarity that the controversial quotation still holds true: Islam is indeed a violent, evil, and inhuman religion. Its followers claim they "will go on until Islam takes over the world."

This is yet another reason why I support the war we are currently in, why I am going to get my concealed weapon permit on Friday morning, and why I am eternally grateful to live in a country where people are free to practice or not practice religion, however they see fit.

Neal Boortz said it best this morning. This is not a war on terror. Terror is a tactic; you don't declare war on tactics. This is a war on radical Islam.

Hopefully this finishes it off.

2006-09-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, y'all, I know I've been seriously slacking on this 100 Things About Me deal.

So hopefully, this will satisfy your burning curiosity about the end of my list. I've got a couple of other blog posts pending, as well, but I felt like I should finish this list before I put those up. Since I crapped out at numbers 77 and 87 by saying this was taking too long, I'll start at 86.

86. I am a natural blonde. Seriously. I can prove it (with childhood and high school pics, you sickos).
87. I'm officially entering my third trimester of pregnancy. Good grief, how time has flown!!!
88. Correction to number 81: our daughter will be the SIXTH generation of first-born females. I am the fifth. When I was a baby, a photo was taken of the five generations sitting together. (Obviously, we were all alive at that time.) Since then, my great-great and great-grandmother have both passed away, and I don't have a relationship with my mother to speak of.
89. I had a pretty decent stepmother that I had hoped would make a pretty decent grandmother to my kids someday, but she died in March of last year.
90. I had also planned to ask my stepmother to teach me crocheting. I planned to ask her when I got pregnant, so we could make baby blankies together. I waited too long. I didn't get pregnant until about a year after she died.
91. My dad, knowing I wanted to learn, gave me all of her crochet supplies- hooks, tons of yarn and partial projects, and pattern books. I found a website with lots of pictures and taught myself.
92. I wouldn't trust my husband's parents with a puppy, much less a human child. Luckily, to make up for a shortage of grandparents, we have several loved ones who will be participating in our child's life.
93. In my collection, you will find music running the entire gamut: classical (Tchaikovsky, Mozart, Opera Babes, Bond); alternative (Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Tool, Franz Ferdinand); metal (White Zombie, Metallica); electronic/dance/ambient/disco (808 State, Jay Jay Johansen, Thievery Corporation, Depeche Mode, Moby, Röyksopp); lounge/big band (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Perry Como, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Ray Charles); rap (Ice Cube, Outkast, Dr. Dre); and lots of stuff I can't categorize (Tori Amos, Ben Folds, Sarah McLachlan, Shakira).
94. I prefer the music of fat Elvis over that of skinny Elvis.
95. I have a huge stack of unread books at home, including some Dean Koontz and Tom Clancy, baby books, Where to Draw the Line by Anne Katherine, and others.
96. My issues of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living get combed thoroughly every month.
97. At the suggestion of my counselor, whom I have been seeing since January, I have been making use of the FLYLady program of housekeeping, cleaning, sanity saving, and organization for several months now. It's a fabulous and free service, and it's awesome for busy people who lean toward procrastination or perfection.
98. The clothing in our closets (yes, I do my husband's too) is organized by color, and all hung facing the same direction.
99. I have Magnetic Poetry words on my fridge- the Dog Lover and Shakespeare Lover sets. Below the compositions that have been created, all the words awaiting use are alphabetized into groups.
100. When I finally get to do the woodworking projects that currently await completion of our backyard shop, I will be making a Lazy Susan for my spice cabinet, and the spices will be alphabetized.
Bonus!
101. These things seem normal to me, but apparently many people think I'm a kook, my husband included.

~fin~

100 Cosas, el segundo parte

2006-08-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

Here's the final portion of my 100 Things list, finally. I don't think I've made any duplicates, but if I have, just chalk it up to baby-brain.

78. We found out this morning that we're having a girl!
79. I had a preggo freakout momentarily, worried that my husband was disappointed at the lack of twig 'n berries and would not be happy with a daughter.
80. He is just fine, tyvm.
81. Our daughter will be the fifth generation of first-born women in my family- going backwards, it's now me, my mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. That's first born child, and first grandchild also.
82. I am having one hell of a time typing today for some reason.
83. I keep half-jokingly telling my boss that we need an office dog, but I don't think he is close to caving yet.
84. I'd take an office cat, too, but more people are likely to be allergic, my husband being one.
85. My crochet group is doing a crochet-along for September, and everyone's making a purse. I'm almost halfway done with mine!
86. I'm really looking forward to teaching our baby girl Spanish (and English, duh).
87. Dammit, this is taking too long. Come back tomorrow.

100 Things (the first part)

2006-08-15T13:52:00.000-07:00

Inspired by High Desert Diva, here's my list of 100 Things About Me.

1. I hate snakes. HATE. THEM. Every single one. Nasty things.
2. I love anything with fur, feathers, flippers, or fins, but I also like many animals I cannot put into those categories- like tortoises.
3. I am very particular about grammar and spelling.
4. If I think that my grammatical structure in something I'm typing might be wrong, I'll change it instead of letting it be possibly erroneous.
5. I'm perfectly OK with a lot of internet-isms, word shortening or misspelling that occurs online.
6. But, the substitution of "u" for "you" really annoys the hell out of me.
7. Sometimes it's hard for me to not correct the grammar and spelling of those that I love or like...
8. ...Because I am fully aware that in most circles, I am alone in this particular neurosis.
9. I think I have a pretty decent singing voice.
10. I'd have to be pretty drunk to sing in public, but I sing along to music at my desk, in the car, and at home all the time.
11. My husband is the only person who has ever heard me sing, and he thinks I sound lovely.
12. The dogs don't mind either.
13. My sister told me all the time when I was younger to stop singing with the radio; she said my voice sucked.
14. I think it gave me a complex.
15. Before my husband and I met, I had made up secret songs for my cat, Bagheera.
16. When we met, he told me that he sang silly stuff regularly to his (now our) dog, Barney.
17. We still make up songs for our three dogs.
18. There's only one person I seriously dated that I could reasonably run into someday.
19. The other two eventually moved back to their home states after we broke up.
20. I wish one of them that moved away would trade places with the one that lives in my city, just so that I would not ever have to bump into him.
21. I'm often curious about my husband's exes and the backstories, and I'm perfectly all right hearing about them.
22. My husband doesn't want to know ANYTHING about anyone I dated.
23. Sometimes, it doesn't seem quite real that we're actually going to have a baby in December.
24. I quietly relish the fact that I've been able to keep my baby weight gain within doctor's recommendations, when many women cannot.
25. I have a hard time containing my contempt for women who dump their babies into daycare so they can go back to work.
26. I'm really going to miss working with my husband after the baby comes.
27. I'm sure he will miss having his lunch made for him daily. *ha*
28. After almost seven years together, he still makes my heart race.
29. I desperately hope that spark won't peter out after several more years.
30. I am an atheist living in the buckle of the Bible Belt.
31. If for some crazy ass reason I ever went back to church, I cannot see myself going anywhere except a Catholic one, the way I was raised.
32. My mother took me to a few evangelical churches when I was in middle school.
33. Those people scared me.
34. I'm really glad that my husband and I agree on matters of religion (or lack thereof).
35. I think that people of differing faiths who get married and have kids are just asking for problems.
36. My father converted two women to Catholicism, and married them both.
37. My dad's marriage to my stepmother lasted 15 years, until her untimely death last year.
38. My own parents' marriage lasted barely ten years before they divorced...
39. With five kids...
40. All under age 9.
41. I think that having three dogs has actually been good practice for having kids.
42. I acknowledge that many people will think this is nutso.
43. I believe it has done wonders for my patience, in dealing with various bodily fluids and the myriad ways in which they are expelled.
44. I think I am a fairly likeable person.
45. But I don't have very many friends.
46. I am one of the most fiercely loyal people you would ever meet.
47. I would draw blood with my bare hands to avenge the honor of someone I loved.
48. I am prone to daydreams in which I sometimes imagine bad things happening, and how I would react to them.
49. I had a weird real life situation a few years ago in which I had to administer the Heimlich maneuver...
50. ...to someone I don't even like...
51. ...my mother.
52. I have never had stitches.
53. But I have had a broken elbow.
54. While I acknowledge the reality of abortion, I personally think it's homicide, and I could never have one.
55. I plan to teach our kids to speak some Spanish.
56. Because of his childhood experiences, my husband gets annoyed by hearing Spanish being spoken.
57. However, he has a perfect accent and speaks excellent fake Spanish (he makes words up).
58. I didn't realize when I started this list just how difficult it would be to come up with 100 things.
59. I've started to realize that I'm no longer a Republican.
60. I now consider myself a Libertarian.
61. My main disagreements with my former party are the issues of gay marriage (I'm all for it), prayer in schools (everyone is already allowed to pray if they want to- no one should be forced), and their current trend of bigger government (I'm for limited gov't).
62. I consider myself a pretty good cook and baker, and I actually enjoy it.
63. My husband has told me more than once that he would not have married a woman who refuses to cook.
64. Now all I need is a kitchen crew like in restaurants, to clean up my messes, wash dishes, and let me just play chef.
65. Despite being an atheist, I love everything about Christmas.
66. I have no poker face.
67. If I don't like you, I have a hard time disguising it.
68. If I am happy, I have a hard time keeping a secret about it. (Ask my husband how long I waited to call everyone I know about being pregnant.)
69. However, if a friend tells me something in confidence, I do not betray that trust.
70. I like to think that my lack of poker face ability makes me a genuine person, but it also makes me a very bad liar, and we all know that lying can come in handy once in a while.
71. Now that my husband can feel my baby belly getting bigger, he is a lot more into the whole pregnancy thing than he was before.
72. When we fooled around the other night, he told me laying on top of me was like being on a teeter-totter. LOL
73. I have now been pregnant for longer than we were trying. (5 ½ months vs. 5 months)
74. Five months of trying to conceive felt like an eternity at the time...
75. ...but now it makes me giggle to think how impatient I was (ahem, how impatient I am, coughcough).
76. I firmly believe that if you don't laugh sometimes during sex, you're either not doing it right, or you're not doing it with the right person.
77. This list has now officially taken me a week, just to get to number seventy-seven.

To be continued...

Why do lesbians dress like dudes?

2006-08-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

While browsing through some Flickr photo pages, I came upon this image.

The image begs the question: Why do so many lesbians dress, act, and look like men?

Straight women generally don't talk in basso tones, cut off all their hair (except for a maybe a mullet), go unshaven in the leg and pit areas, walk around sans makeup, and wear boy's clothing. (I said generally; hippies and feminists and fat rednecks notwithstanding.)

I thought that lesbians liked women. To me, being a woman is soft, feminine, sensual, pretty- not looking like a man with different parts underneath.

I'm firmly stationed on the hetero team, but if I was to switch, I sure would not want a woman who looked, acted, talked, and dressed like a dude!

What's the point of being sexually attracted to women if all the gay women look like men? Basically, then, you've reduced it to penis vs. vagina/boobies. There's so much more to it than just that!

South Africans shiver through harsh winter

2006-08-02T13:16:00.000-07:00

In this Yahoo! news article, you'll read about how South Africans are suffering through an unusually harsh winter.

I predict that although they're having heavy snow and icy winds, some wacko liberal will find a way to attribute it to global warming, and pin blame on America's lack of signature of the Kyoto treaty.

Crap that irritates me

2006-07-31T13:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it's Monday again. Whoopadeedoo. Actually the day is going rather well so far, but it is Monday, so why not complain anyhow? :D

Here's a short list of crap that irritates me.

Apostrophe's in word's that are plural's, not possessive.

Ignored/unacknowledged instant messages- dude, if you're busy, set your damn self to "away" and I won't write to you! Gah!

The apparently unlearnable-by-many phenomena of "your" being possessive and "you're" being a contraction of "you are."

The fact that many native-born Americans' English grammar is shitty in comparison with my Mexican-born friend who has only been here for a dozen years. If she can learn it as a second language in a decade-plus, how come in your twenty or thirty years, you can't get the concepts?? You only have the one language to worry about! (I'll have to borrow Boortz's theory on this one...gub'mint schools.)

Pregnant chicks who smoke, willfully disregarding their unborn child's health, not to mention their own.

People who do not wash their mitts after using the restroom. One word- ew.

When I hear a new song I actually like on the radio, but the DJ does not identify it, and when I call to ask, they don't answer the damn phone.

I remain...

~Skwerly

Disposition of a situation

2006-07-30T15:37:00.000-07:00

You may remember that a little over a week ago, on my birthday, I found a stray dog.

Last Thursday, I called our city shelter and left a voice mail inquiring about her- if she had been adopted, euthanized, whatever. I tried not to keep my hopes too high, because the shelter is very full this time of year, and a dog's chances can be slim for getting adopted. I knew that her "owners" were not the type to go looking for their pet at the shelter, either. (On a side note, if I ever find out what waste of space claimed her as a pet, I'd shoot them and bury them in my front yard. They wouldn't be missed.)

While running some errands yesterday, I got a phone call from the shelter with the fabulous news that lil' Biscuit has found a forever home! ****Yay!****

This incident reminded me of a post I did last February, quoting an essay by Jim Willis called "I Stole Your Dog." Give it another read.

Tiny feets!!!!

2006-07-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

A couple of images from my ultrasound this morning:

I'm almost 19 weeks pregnant. It's still too early to tell boy or girl for sure, but the tech thought it might be a girl. We shall see. I'll have other ultrasounds at my regular doctor appointments.

Neat, huh? There's a person growing inside me!

New recipe, new words

2006-07-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

'Tis the season for wonderful fresh produce. Summer is my least favorite time of year, but it can't be beat when it comes to all the great fruits and vegetables that are available. You probably know someone whose garden has given them too many tomatoes. Snag some for yourself and make some yummy pasta sauce!

I made some yesterday, and it was not half bad. Amazingly, I had no recipe. I just had a bag of tomatoes that needed to be used, and a good idea of how to make them into a lovely spaghetti sauce. And whattaya know, it worked. It's easy, it tastes good, and it doesn't require much time, aside from the oven part. Here's the recipe!

Skwerly's Roasted Tomato Pasta Sauce
serves 2-3

7-8 medium vine ripe tomatoes
7-8 cloves garlic, peeled and stem ends trimmed off
1 oz. jarred roasted bell pepper (about 1/2 medium pepper if you want to roast it yourself), diced
1 ½ tsp. basil
1 ½ tsp. oregano
1 ½ tbsp. minced white onion
¼ tsp. hot pepper flakes, more or less to taste
kosher salt
fresh black pepper
olive oil
1 tsp. balsamic vinegar

Core and de-seed the tomatoes, leaving them whole. Place in a roasting dish. Put one clove of garlic in each tomato. Sprinkle the tomato tops (cut portion) liberally with basil and oregano, and drizzle with olive oil. Roast uncovered in a 350° oven for about 40-45 minutes, or until tomatoes are wrinkled and saggy looking. Remove from oven and cover with foil. Let rest until slightly cooled.

When tomatoes are cool enough to handle, remove the skins (they should slip off easily). Dump the tomatoes, garlic, and all juices into a medium saucepan. Stir with a fork to break up large pieces. Remove any brown pieces of garlic or stray tomato skin. Bring to a simmer. Season with kosher salt and black pepper. Add pepper flakes, roasted pepper, minced onion, and balsamic vinegar.

Simmer until liquid is reduced and sauce is thickened, stirring occasionally. Serve over hot fettucine or spaghetti with plenty of fresh Parmagiano Reggiano.

(Chef's note: Next time I make this, I will probably add some tomato paste to thicken it more and make it a little richer.)

~Enjoy!~

New words! I love new words. Reading Dean Koontz always leaves me with plenty of vocabulary that I was previously not familiar with. Ginormous nerd that I am, I write them down and look them up. Here are a few I've recently defined:

Antediluvian- in or from the time before the biblical flood; extremely old-fashioned or out-of-date; prehistoric

Cabal- a group of conspirators or plotters, particularly one formed for political purposes; a secret plot or conspiracy, especially a political one

Ersatz- imitating or presented as a substitute for something of superior quality

A moissanite is an artificial diamond, Lincoln. It's Mickey Mouse, man. Spurious. Not genuine. And it's worth... Fuck-all.

(Ok, so I didn't exactly use "ersatz" in a sentence, but that quote demonstrates the definition perfectly!) *g*

Jejune- uninteresting and intellectually undemanding; lacking maturity or sophistication

Vestigial- remaining after nearly all the rest has disappeared or dwindled; having become degenerate or functionless in the course of time

Feliz Cumpleaños a mi

2006-07-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

Ok, yeah, so today's my 30th birthday. But that's beside the point. I have a story to tell that has inspired me to finally break my blog-silence.

As a pregnant chick, I'm destined to get hungry. Today, I hadn't eaten any breakfast, and by 10:00 I was ready to gnaw on my own left hand. (Being a righty, and all.)

So I set out for the nearest McDonald's, about a mile down the road, for a biscuit or two and some OJ. Gotta keep up that folic acid intake!

Anyhoo, no sooner did I pull into the parking lot, that I spotted a stray dog in said lot. I jumped out of the truck and tried to coax her to get in, since she was wandering about and the corner we were standing on is a busy intersection. It was also already over 90 degrees out, and it is forecasted to be 104 today.

She didn't understand "Get in the truck, sweetie!" so I tried another tactic. A weird lady came out of the McD's, shoeless and mumbling. (Don't ask me, folks...I just relay the story, I don't make this shit up.) This lady had a case of The Crazy, and started telling me she didn't know where the dog came from, although not exactly in complete sentences.

So I asked Crazy Lady to keep an eye on PupDawg, and I went inside and got a cup of water and a plain biscuit.

When I came out, all of a sudden Crazy Lady's story changed. She began mumbling something about dogsitting her friend's dog, how she had gotten out of her collar, blah blah blah.

She then proceeded to grab two handfuls of PupDawg's scruff and DRAGGED her across the parking lot toward the intersection. I very sternly said, "Ma'am, do not drag her by the neck like that. She needs a collar and a leash. Do not drag her."

Crazy mumbled something back about the dog getting out of her collar, and continued to drag the poor dog toward the busy street. I told her again to stop, and that I was going to call the cops.

Crazy Lady let go of the dog lickety split, mumbled something about kicking my ass, and kept walking. She didn't come back.

PupDawg then came back to me. I fed her several pieces of biscuit and she drank water from the cup. She was very gentle with the food and seemed really sweet. She wagged her tail and stayed next to me.

She had short white hair with black ticking, black ears and cheeks, and a white and black-ticked stripe on her nose and forehead. I'd describe her as a "cow dog," very similar to the Aussie type Shepherds used by ranchers in my part of the country. She was obviously not taken care of- dirty coat full of burrs, ears filthy, at least one small tick on her face, and thin. No collar or tags, of course. By the looks of her, she is full grown but not very old- her teeth were in good shape, and her belly was taut, so she had not likely had any puppies before.

A guy who had been eating in McD's came out when he saw me coaxing the dog to get into the cab of the truck. He offered to pick her up and put her in, and I was grateful. I'd have done it myself, but with strays, you never know how the dog will react.

She was just fine with him picking her up. We drove around for almost half an hour, with me on my cell phone calling every place my husband could get a phone number for. He was exasperated with me- he knows my softness for dogs of any kind, especially strays, and the last stray I found became Lucy, our youngest dog.

I promised him that I was not going to bring this dog home, that I would call every rescue I could think of before taking her to the city shelter.

With him feeding me numbers out of the phonebook, I called five or six places with no luck. Everyone is full. So I reluctantly drove out north to the city shelter. PupDawg did very well on the drive, sitting and looking out the windows, and eventually laying down on the bench seat and resting her wee dirty head on my thigh. *melt* I petted her head and rubbed her ears as we drove, and promised her she was going to be OK and that I'd try to get her rescued from the shelter before it was too late.

Tomorrow is my day to volunteer with the animal rescue group I've been working with for about 9 months. I'm going to tell them about this sweet and cute doggie, and see if they can get her from the shelter and find her a forever home.

My hopes are high that she will not be euthanized, but will be adopted. She's very cute, sweet natured, medium size, young enough to be trained, and in my opinion, very adoptable. At least she is not wandering near a busy intersection in 100 degree heat!

On the way back to work after leaving her at the shelter, I told my husband on the phone that I have decided to call her "Biscuit."

*sigh*

What a birthday it has been so far.

Day of the Beast lives up to its name

2006-06-06T08:39:00.000-07:00

Boy, this day of 666 is not starting out very well.

First, DH, dogs and I were awakened at 5:45 am by crashing thunder, pounding rain, hail, and failing electricity. As of now, 10:30 am, the power is still out in a large chunk of my area of town.

Trees are splintered, traffic signals are unlit, and a 3 mile section of a road I need to cross to get to and from work is shut down.

I had to go far north out of my way to get to work, with wet hair and no makeup. (Overcast skies mean not enough light in the house either- you ever try to do eyeliner by flashlight? Doesn't work.)

When I got to work (title and escrow company), I was greeted with a phone call from one of our banks, informing me that a careless manager (who's now on vacation this week) didn't pay attention to what checks she signed last Friday, and has overdrawn BOTH escrow accounts with that bank.

I'm the person who does escrow accounting. I have responsibility without authority, a difficult balance at best.

This is the second time in a month that this manager has overdrawn an escrow account. Keep in mind- escrow accounts are NOT our money, and ours generally carry a balance of over a million each.

*sigh*

Hopefully I'll have a good lunch to make it up.

End rant.

Why I'm going to be a stay at home mother

2006-06-02T12:25:00.000-07:00

I wish I could take the credit for writing this, but I saw it on a stay-at-home parent internet forum.

MY REASONS FOR BEING A STAY-AT-HOME MOM:

1. I am selfish – why should someone else enjoy my beautiful children while I slave away to pay for it? Why should someone else get that glorious affection my children give out? I want it for me!

2. I am arrogant – no one can raise my kids as well as I can. No one feels about them the way I do. No one knows them like I do.

3. I am super cautious – I’m fastidious about safety, about guarding against abuse, about sensitivity to their feelings and what media they are exposed to. By being around all the time, I don’t have to take chances on these issues – I know they are safe.

4. I enjoy working in a team – my partner and I work together well, we complement each other in parenting, and I like doing this with him. It’s something else that makes us closer.

5. I am poor and proud – I have so much self esteem that I don’t need great furniture or expensive clothes or a fancy house and car. I’m such a snob that I don’t need money beyond the bare essentials. My kids are my jewelry.

6. I am lazy – by raising secure and un-hassled kids who feel safe and settled, I am making it easy for myself later on. I’m planning to cruise through their adolescence. And I’m teaching them fifty kinds of housework.

7. I’m ‘into it’ – I enjoy the progress, the affection, the freedom to set my own pace, to decide how I will spend my time, the social get-togethers with other parents, the effect of the seasons on our activities, how my kids keep me young, and that I am (for this short time) the center of their world.

Random Random Eleven

2006-05-23T11:06:00.000-07:00

The gauntlet is thrown! Elisson hath challenged me to do a Random Random Ten, and I hath answered. But forsooth...I am doing a Random Random ELEVEN! Ha!

What are you listening to right now? Obviously, my computer is in a semi-electronic mood today.

1. Ben Folds - "Prison Food"
2. Paperboy - "Ditty"
3. Mirwais - "Disco Science"
4. Kid Koala - "Flu Season"
5. Brazilian Girls - "Long"
6. Tori Amos - "China"
7. Faithless - "If Lovin' You Is Wrong"
8. Chicago - "Beginnings"
9. Better Than Ezra - "Good"
10. Ray Charles - "A Fool For You"
11. Stephen Speaks - "Out Of My League"

I just love this song:

It's her hair and her eyes today
that just simply take me away
and the feeling that I'm falling further in love
makes me shiver
but in a good way

All the times I have sat and stared
as she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair,
as she purses her lips, bats her eyes,
and she plays with me,
sitting there slack-jawed and nothing to say

'Cause I love her with all that I am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
'cause she's all that I see and she's all that I need
and I'm out of my league once again

It's a masterful melody
when she calls out my name to me
As the world spins around her, she laughs, rolls her eyes
and I feel like I'm falling but it's no surprise 'cause

I love her with all that I am
and my voice shakes along with my hands
'cause it's frightening to be
swimming in this strange sea
but I'd rather be here than on land

Yes, she's all that I see and she's all that I need
and I'm out of my league once again

Wednesday Random Ten

2006-05-17T12:10:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Elisson, who does a Friday Random Ten, I decided to do a Wednesday Random Ten.

Unlike Elisson, I'm not listening on a Little White Choon Box, but rather Windows Media Player on my PC. Here are the last ten songs in my shuffle!

1. Pachelbel - "Canon in D"
2. The Proclaimers - "I'm On My Way"
3. Led Zeppelin - "Kashmir"
4. Waldeck - "This Isn't Maybe"
5. Chicago - "Old Days"
6. Rihanna - "Pon de Replay"
7. Led Zeppelin - "Immigrant Song"
8. Panjabi MC - "Mundian to Bach Ke"
9. Crowded House - "Something So Strong"
10. Simply Red - "Holding Back The Years"

Right now, I've got the headphones on and the computer pointed to KFI 640 AM out of Los Angeles, listening to Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

It's Wednesday afternoon. What are you listening to?

What does honesty mean to you?

2006-05-12T09:19:00.000-07:00

JKrew poses an inneresting question on his blog today: What does honesty mean to you? Read his post here.

My response in his comments section:

In my opinion, white lies are never white. They're always grey, and inevitably can turn black on you.

Honesty is the best policy, with few exceptions. I've found over the past few years that if I just own it, the consequences are much better than if I fudge it. I've seen proof of that from my boss at work- he appreciates that I can bring my mistake to his attention, and show that I'm already on top of a fix. He now trusts me much more than some others here.

I told my husband for the first time today that I shoplifted beads from a craft store when I was younger. He had always been completely honest with me about his theft of a video game at age 12...I figured I should display the same soul-baring. He is my spouse and whatnot, not to mention my Baby Daddy.

The person you share your bed with should also get full benefit of your heart and soul.

What's your take? Are white lies harmless? Does the maxim "Everyone does it" mean something is okay?

Our baby's first picture

2006-05-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

I had my first OB appointment this morning, which included an ultrasound! I got to see our tiny baby's heart beating...very surreal. I guess some people would say that moment cemented the idea of pregnancy, but I already felt it.

My baby's first present

2006-04-26T09:37:00.000-07:00

Our unborn baby received its first gift today!

A little explanation:

A lady in my crocheting group, Ruth, just happens to be the mother-in-law of one of my work friends, Becky. Several months ago, I gave Becky a bag of yarn to give to Ruth (before I joined the crochet group).

The yarn I gave her was from my late stepmother, Dianne. My dad had given me all of her crocheting hooks, yarn, pattern books, and partially started projects. There was more yarn than I had room for, so I gave some away to some girls at the office.

I had planned on asking my stepmom to teach me to crochet. She died before I was able to, on March 22, 2005. I've since learned a few things on my own, and joined a Yahoo group of local area crocheters.

Today, Becky brought me an adorable baby afghan Ruth made out of some of the yarn I gave her. It is a double-strand afghan, made from a cream, rose, and emerald variegated yarn. It is beautiful.

On the package, Ruth wrote, "Using Grandma's yarn."

I was a blubbery mess for a few minutes. I will definitely treasure this blanket.

Leave your name and...

2006-04-23T10:55:00.000-07:00

Leave your name and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that associates with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.

My Aunt B (catlover926) has answered the above questions for me, so here's hers:

1. I always thought you looked very dark and exotic in your high school photos- very unlike my own pale skin and hair.

2. I challenge you to try FlyLady.net. It will change your life.

3. I associate you with forest green and burgundy- rich and earthy.

4. I like that you break all known stereotypes of small town women.

5. It's not an early memory, but I always remember you and I road-tripping to the reunion in Colorado. I feel like that was the first time we connected as adults.

6. You remind me of a horse- regal, proud, sensitive, and intelligent, but still very much a steadfast beast of burden. And I mean that in the best way possible.

7. Are you sure you didn't have a baby girl by a handsome blond guy in 1976 and then turn her over to him and another chick to raise?

It's official...I'm knocked up!

2006-04-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

Well, ladies and germs, I'm gonna have a baby!

Obviously, dear husband and I are ecstatic, excited, over the moon, happy, joyful, gleeful, etcetera etcetera!

We pretty much knew I was pregnant this weekend, but wanted to confirm it at the doctor's office before announcing. I went yesterday afternoon. I'm about 5 weeks along, due on Dec. 21.

This will be our first non-furry child, and it will be the first grandbaby on my side. My brothers and sisters are very excited about being uncles and aunts for the first time.

I got some excellent high quality squeals from my MIL, my cousin Laura, and a couple of coworkers.

My dad was strangely short on conversation. Maybe he's in shock. His oldest (and bestest) child (me) is about to turn 30, and now he'll be a grandpa to boot.

I guess I need to get crackalackin' on crocheting- gotta finish the blankie for one of my dawgs, and then start on a baby blankie!

*Squeeee!*

Ungraciousness is disappointing

2006-04-14T12:18:00.000-07:00

In a previous post, I wrote about making a German chocolate cake for a coworker's birthday. That coworker was leaving the company several days after her b-day, and would not be acknowledged in the company monthly birthdays the following week.

I liked this girl, and she had confided in me about her situation (shitty treatment by her supervisor) in the weeks prior to her quitting. I was supportive and tried to offer her sound advice on the most mature way to resolve things.

Said coworker came in today to get her last paycheck. I saw her in her old department, talking to a couple of people. She never once acknowledged me. She didn't say "bye" on her last day, either.

She never did say "thank you" for the birthday cake.

I should have known not to expect a "thank you"- she left on a previously scheduled errand before eating her slice, so I left it (and an extra piece for her fiancé) on her desk.

She never returned that day. When she got back the following day, I'm assuming the day-old cake was thrown away. It was never mentioned.

It may seem, from the content of this post, that I am a doormat type- willingly flinging myself at the feet of those who do not deserve it. But I am not. In fact, I consider myself pretty selective of those upon whom I bestow my niceness.

So to figure out that I was throwing good cake after bad is very disappointing. Time to readjust the decency meter.

*sigh*

Hump Day and Bonus Recipe

2006-04-12T08:45:00.000-07:00

Well, it's officially Wednesday, and my shoulders are killing me from working out last night. The last portion of every Jazzercise class involves various arm moves with hand weights. I have a pair of 5 lb.-ers. Something we did last night really worked the muscles from the base of my neck to the joints of my shoulders.

I still haven't started my period yet...*hopehopehope* that I won't! To give you an idea, I was expecting to start last Thursday (I'm pretty much like clockwork, even off the pill). So either my cycle has gotten longer and I'll start this week, or I'm knocked up. I'm desperately hoping for the latter.

That gets two things crossed off the list, the second one being finding a new job. Since I have made prior arrangements with my current boss to do my job from home with our eventual baby, if I am preggo, I'll stay where I am.

This is ideal, since I already have good insurance and an established 401K. I'd only have to work 20 hours a week to keep contributing to the 401, and since I can do most of my work from home, I'll only have to come to the office once a week or so.

THAT part is what I'm most excited about- being away from the High School That Is My Place of Employment. It's a crying shame; twenty-something women who think that a good life consists of bar hopping and forming cliques in the office. They turn their noses up at women like me who enjoy cooking and actually like our husbands, not think of them as idiots to be tolerated, and who want to raise our children, not dump them in daycare for strangers to raise.

For a bonus recipe today, I present you with Bob's Beautiful Blessed Brown Beans.

It's my Pawpaw's recipe. When I asked him for it, of course, like all good country cooks, he had no measurements of spices to impart, only ingredients and a "taste and see" attitude. He uses bacon instead of ham. He uses store bought chili powder and plenty of Tabasco.

I like the chunkiness and texture of ham, personally, and since he gave me some of his dried peppers last week, I used them instead of chili powder and Tabasco. This dish can be made mild or spicy. You could use red beans instead of pintos and andouille sausage instead of ham for a more Cajun flavor.

Bob's Beautiful Blessed Brown Beans
Serves 4-6

1 lb. dry pinto beans
1-1.5 lb. cooked boneless ham, cubed
1 tsp. garlic granules (not powder- granules are stronger)
1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. Pawpaw's Peppers (his own homegrown mixture of dried and ground peppers- I assume cayenne, jalapeño, some others)
~or~ substitute chili powder from the grocery store and a few drops of Tabasco sauce
1-2 tsp. kosher salt
1/2 tsp. fresh ground black pepper

Rinse the beans in a colander and remove any pebbles. Soak the beans in about 7 cups of water at least overnight. I soaked mine for a whole day. Rinse again, discarding the soaking water. Pawpaw says this helps "take out the farts" from the beans. LOL

In a large stock pot, combine the beans, cubed ham, and spices. Add enough cold water to cover by a good inch. Bring to a boil, stirring periodically. Reduce to a simmer and cook uncovered until the beans are tender and the liquid has reduced to the level of just covering the beans. Cooking a little while longer will make the spiciness of the liquid less intense, as it cooks into the beans.

Remove from heat and let the pot sit, covered, for about 20 minutes. Test for salt/spices.

Serve with hot cornbread and fresh sweet tea.

I may or may not be pollinated

2006-04-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

Keep your fingers crossed that my husband's super sperm has worked, intrepid readers. I am pretty sure I'm late for my period. If'n I don't start by the end of this week, I'll be rushing out to purchase a pregnancy test and doing cartwheels (figuratively and emotionally speaking, anyway).

Update now, recipe later

2006-04-04T08:12:00.000-07:00

Update first...

Hubby and I made a German chocolate cake last night, to bring today for a coworker's birthday. Friday is Coworker's last day, and the other April birthdays are being celebrated next week. So I baked, and he stirred, and when all was said and done, we had a lovely two-layer cake with plenty of gooey homemade coconut and pecan frosting.

It's terribly difficult to not go dig in right now! But I can wait until after lunch, I guess. When I bake, I like to make everything from scratch. Many people I work with turn up their noses at anything homemade. *cough*jealousbitches*coughcough* Fark 'em all, more cake for me!

I've been pounding out resumes by email and fax, and consulting with staffing agencies, who are mostly worthless. Every one of them wants you to come in for an hour and a half, fill out scads of paperwork duplicating your farking resume, and take endless data entry, typing, and 10-key computer tests.

I have a job interview, finally. One of the staffing agencies (!) called me yesterday, telling me that they were sending my resume out to two law firms. One of them wants to meet me. Yay!

Ponderables

2006-03-29T13:30:00.000-08:00

I have the weirdest thoughts sometimes, and come up with some very strange questions I don't have answers to.

If a bird has hollow bones, which many do because it lessens weight and promotes the ability to fly, then do they have bone marrow filling up the hollow spaces? If not, then where are their blood cells generated?

Do dogs get boogers? I mean, I know they can sneeze, and that they can have a cold. But do they get normal, every day boogers in their noses like people do?

Seriously, this crap keeps me up at night sometimes.

Recipe Tuesday, er, Wednesday

2006-03-29T12:37:00.000-08:00

Dude, I totally spaced yesterday on my promise to provide a new recipe, so here goes.

Bodacious Beef Stew

Serves 4-6

1.5 lbs. lean stew meat (roast, round steak, whatever), trimmed and cubed
1 large onion, chopped (large = baseball sized...I hate it when recipes don't specify- onions come in lots of sizes!)
4-5 large carrots, peeled and chopped, or about 1 c. whole baby carrots (We like the big ones- baby carrots are much sweeter)
4-5 stalks celery, chopped (Don't be afraid to use the leaves!)
2-3 medium potatoes, peeled or unpeeled, chopped
3/4 c. pearl barley (I use Quaker brand in a white box)
1/2 to 1 c. good quality red wine (more or less to taste), such as Merlot or Cab-Sauv
2 bay leaves
1.5 tsp. dried thyme
1.5 tsp. dried rosemary
3-4 cloves garlic, peeled
4 c. beef broth or stock (I use hot water and 4 bouillion cubes)
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
Extra virgin olive oil

Drizzle some olive oil into a large stock pot over medium/high heat. Add the beef chunks, season with kosher salt and pepper, and stir until the beef begins to brown. Pour in about a half a cup of dry red wine. (I usually don't measure the wine...just pour a few splashes straight from the bottle.) Add the chopped onions, carrots, and celery. Stir and cook until the beef is fully browned.

Crush the dried rosemary with a mortar and pestle. Add the rosemary, dried thyme, and bay leaves; crush the garlic through a press right over the pot and scrape it off the press with a knife. Pour in the beef stock and barley. Bring to a gentle boil and cook covered for about 20 minutes, until the barley just begins to soften, stirring periodically.

Your kitchen should possess a delightful mixture of scents of beef, wine, herbs, and vegetables.

While the barley is cooking, prepare the potatoes. Peel off the skins, if desired. Sometimes I leave them on and just cube the taters. I only add two medium potatoes to mine, and I make fairly small cubes.

Add the potatoes when the barley is just beginning to look translucent on the edges. Get yourself a tasting bowl and a spoon. Ladle out some of the liquid and taste for seasoning. If desired, add more red wine. It should not need more salt, since beef broth adds plenty, but season to your tastes.

Remove the lid and finish cooking the potatoes, about another 10-15 minutes. Remember to stir occasionally.

Serve big bowls of this lovely stew with a side of good bread. It's even better the second day, but you may have to thin it with a little water.

Bon appetit!

Ahh, another Monday

2006-03-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

I'll try to keep it short, since the last couple of posts were pretty lengthy.

Found some new blogs to read- High Desert Diva's Dive and The Idle Receptionist. They are both very smart, snarky ladies, and they deserve a visit and a read.

This weekend was spent with hubby doing yard work. Took down a tree and a bunch of ugly shrubs, filled the truck bed four times. Scintillating, I know.

I've recently joined a few Yahoo groups, and they are working out swimmingly. One is a stay-at-home moms group- not much activity there. I've IMed with one of the moms several times. The rest are too Jesus-y for my tastes.

The crocheters group is awesome. I'm meeting with several of them on Wednesday at a local yarn/coffee store. Should be fun- they have lots to teach me. They are mostly older than I am, which is good. I don't share much in common with most chicks my age.

Also signed up for a group that I'm literally related to. A bunch of distant cousins are putting together genealogy and ancestry information for a book to be published. The ancestor we all share was an Italian farmer from Genoa who came here in the late 1700s and then joined in the Revolutionary War. Sweet! He had a total of 18 children with two wives, and of course these children have begat tons more all over the country. I've been able to IM with a pretty cool lady in Oregon that I'm distantly related to.

Remember, tomorrow is Recipe Tuesday! This week's installment: Bodacious Beef Stew.

Holla!

Another dadgum survey meme

2006-03-21T12:29:00.000-08:00

[Marital Status]	Happily hitched
[Shoe size]	9
[Parents still together]	Thank the gods, NO
[Siblings]	Four
[Pets]	Three dadgum dawgs
*FAVORITES*
[Color]	Blue
[Number]	76
[Animal]	Other than dawgs? Anything with fur or feathers.
[Drinks]	Crown and coke, Grey goose and cranberry
[Soda]	Coke
[Book]	The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
[Flower]	Roses
*DO YOU*
[Color your hair?]	Highlights
[Twirl your hair?]	My husband is responsible for that
[Have tattoos?]	Yes, two, working on a modification of one
[Have Piercings?]	Just ears
[Cheat on tests/homework?]	No way
[Drink/Smoke?]	Drink occasionally, former smoker- makes me sick now
[Like roller coasters?]	Hells to the yeah
[Wish you could live somewhere else?]	Somewhere with real winter would be nice
[Want more piercings?]	Nope
[Like cleaning?]	I like doing laundry and vacuuming...hate dusting.
[Write in cursive or print?]	Both
[Own a web cam?]	Nope
[Know how to drive?]	Yes
[Own a cell phone?]	Yes
[Ever get off the damn computer?]	Hardly
*HAVE U EVER*
[Been in a fist fight?]	Yes (brief but interesting)
[Considered a life of crime?]	Yes (who hasn't?)
[Considered being a hooker?]	Yes (again, who hasn't?)
[Lied to someone?]	Yes (very bad idea)
[Been in love?]	Yes
[Made out with JUST a friend?]	Yes
[Been in lust?]	Yes
[Used someone]	Yes (shame on me)
[Been used?]	Yes
[Been cheated on?]	Yes
[Kicked someone in the nuts?]	Yes, but it's been a loooong time so hopefully I'm forgiven by now
[Stolen anything?]	Yes
[Held a gun]	Yes, and I'm a pretty durn good shot, too.
*CURRENTS*
[Current clothing]	Dress casual- jeans and a white cable knit cardigan/shell
[Current mood]	Optimistic
[Current taste]	Good home-cooked food
[What you currently smell like]	D&G Feminine
[Current hair]	Blond, layered, just below chin, flipped out
[Current thing I ought to be doing]	Working
[Current cd in stereo]	CD? What's that? MP3 all the way baby! Oh, uh, "Feel Good Inc." by Gorillaz is gettin' wore the hell out.
[Last book you read]	"Strange Highways" by Dean Koontz
[Last movie you saw]	"Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" (it rawked as usual)
[Last thing you ate]	Chicken lo mein and fortune cookies
[Last person you talked to on the phone]	My Meemaw
[Do drugs?]	Nope
[Believe there is life on other planets?]	Yes!
Remember your first love?]	Yes
[Still love him/her?]	Nope
[Read the newspaper?]	Nope
[Have any gay or lesbian friends?]	Nope
[Believe in miracles?]	Not really
[Do well in school?]	Summa Cum Laude, baby!
[Wear hats]	Only to sporting events
[Hate yourself?]	Nope- dude, I rawk
[Have an obsession?]	Perfectionism
[Collect anything?]	Nope
[Have a best friend?]	My husband
[Close friends?]	Blanca, Barbara, Beth (hey, that's neato)
[Like your handwriting?]	Yes
[Care about looks]	Yes
*LOVE LIFE*
[First crush]	Mark in second grade
[First kiss]	Chris in 11th grade (yes, late bloomer...shut up)
[Do you believe in love at first sight?]	No- lust for sure, but love takes more time and information
[Do you believe in "the one?"]	Yes
[Are you a tease?]	No
[Too shy to make the first move?]	Yes
*ARE U A*
[Daydreamer]	Yes
[Bitch/Asshole]	Bitch
[sarcastic]	Could be
[Angel]	I'm very well behaved
[Devil]	No way!
[Shy]	Not at all like I used to be
[Talkative]	Can be
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Verfuckled

2006-03-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a blogloser I am. March 15th already, and I haven't posted since the end of February.

Several lovely things to update with...I'll start with today and work backwards.

This morning was just peachy. I had my very first (and hopefully last) sclerotherapy treatment for a varicose vein on my left thigh. These fabulous purple veins run in my family, and become worse after childbearing. Since I'm attempting to get pregnant, I thought I'd get it taken care of now, especially since this one causes me discomfort when I'm standing. Sclerotherapy consists of numerous injections of a chemical irritant to the area. The needle stick is the smallest I've ever felt, but that ain't the bad part. When the doctor pushes that plunger, hang on. It burns like a sumbitch. But I gritted my teeth and took it like a skwerl.

Last Saturday was fun- I volunteered at PetSmart with the animal organization I've been with since last fall. It's total relaxation therapy, playing with puppies and dogs all day long. I love it. I'm going to another place this Saturday afternoon, an organization that provides low cost spaying and neutering.

I've joined a few Yahoo groups in the past few weeks, and they are turning out great. I found one of crocheters in my area, since I've been teaching myself to crochet. If things work out, I'll be meeting some of the women from the group at a little yarn shop/coffee shop near downtown on Saturday evening.

Another group I joined is a stay at home moms group in my area. Although I don't have any kids yet, I plan to be a SAHM. Well, actually, plan schman, I'm doing it! No one will be raising my babies except me and my husband. I've been IMing with one of the moms, and we are hitting it off.

If you're wondering about the post title, verfuckled is a faboo new word coined by another blogger, Og. I actually read about it on the blog of Velociman, who just happens to be my literary hero for all his fecundity of big words. I left a comment on his blog the other day that whenever I read him, I feel like I need a nap and a Gatorade. Yeah, it's that good.

Now that the past is taken care of, to the future: Aside from the crocheting coffee klatch in planning, I am scheduled to give blood on Saturday morning. Woo. And more fun with doctors next Monday, my annual poke and prod with the gyno.

Next week is just not looking good. After the poke and prod on Monday, I have Wednesday to deal with. For one, it's the first anniversary of my stepmom's death. Because my dad is kind of weird sometimes, I don't even know where in the cemetary her ashes were placed. (Grandma was in the hospital shortly after the funeral, and he didn't want to "bother" people with an interment thingy. Like I said, weirdo.)

After work Wednesday is a pretty much obligatory bridal shower for our operations manager at work. I wish I could skip it. It's not that I don't like this chick, I just don't feel like going. Plus, she and her HTB have committed three major etiquette faux pas: registration cards in the wedding invitation envelopes; they have registered for everything under the sun, including their honeymoon; and they registered like they don't own anything- they are living together in a house she owns, and certainly have a household set up already.

I mean, seriously. DH and I had a wedding registry while shacking up too, but we didn't use it as a household upgrade opportunity. We already had pans, dishes, towels, etc., and didn't try to cash in just because we were making it legit.

Oh da well.

And I'm looking for a new job. After two and a half years here, I'm so ready to move into my field (legal assistant). This company has issues, and they are legion. Add that to the facts that I'm doing accounting instead of legal work, there's no room for advancement, and that I've only gone up in pay once in two and half years, I doubt anyone will hold it against me.

Wish me luck!

I Stole Your Dog

2006-02-28T21:57:00.000-08:00

I stole your dog today. No, I didn't set a foot on your property, but from the condition of your dog, I can imagine what it looks like...the word "junkyard" comes to mind.

I found her along a road, with a heavy chain wrapped around her neck, still attached to rotten boards from her doghouse, with rusty six-penny nails protruding. Not only did I know that most of the town had already ignored her, judging by where I found her, but I knew that if she had gotten into the woods the "cross" that she dragged behind her would have wrapped around a tree until starvation or thirst killed her.

The local populace is usually deaf to the sound or blind to the sight of an animal in need, unless they decide to shoot one for trespassing.

That her ribs showed, that her ears were filthy, that her overall condition was poor and that her coat and eyes were dull, were good indications that you didn't deserve her. But just to make sure, I checked with the local authorities for a report of a missing (unlicensed) dog matching her description and to see if you'd placed a
"lost dog" advertisement in the local newspaper. You hadn't, which I can only surmise means that you do not miss her. That's rather convenient, because the fact that she is not spayed, probably unvaccinated, and possibly heartworm positive means that restoring her health could cost me around a thousand dollars.

Perhaps it may be some small comfort to know that she doesn't miss you. In fact, her very act of escape made it clear that she'd had enough of your brand of pet guardianship. It took her about a day to realize that I'm not you, that I won't hurt her, that despite our brief acquaintanceship, I love her. It took two days for her to realize that the other animals who live here accept her and that one of the joys she has been missing has been the companionship of other dogs. It took three days for her to appreciate the ecstasy of a homecooked meal and that a couch is meant to be reclined on, and that she no longer has to sleep outside - in fact, when the thunder starts, she'll get a hug and her ears rubbed, and I'll make a fool of myself with baby talk.

She has a beautiful name now. Already in the first week she has come to look more like she should. Her eyes sparkle and she has learned to wag her tail in greeting. She has stopped flinching when I make a sudden movement, because she knows now that I won't beat her, in fact, she rarely leaves my side. She's even become brave enough to bark at a cat and today I watched from the window as she initiated play with the other dogs. No, it's clear she does not miss you or her former life of neglect on a chain.

Of all the things that have become apparent from my brief relationship with her - such as the forgiving nature of the dog, their wonderful ability to heal and to trust, the fact that love can work miracles - one of the most apparent is what a fool you are. She was possibly the most trusting, loyal and loving being in your life, and you consigned her to a life of filth and loneliness until she made the best choice she's ever made when she broke free.

Perhaps her guardian angel helped her escape.

Lest anyone should mistake me for an angel, I will admit that one day I hope to be as good as she; I believe she forgave you within the first twenty-four hours of her new life for the about four years of her previous "life," while I still wrestle with the part of me that hopes that one day you will burn in Hell.

It's not clear yet whether she'll remain here or whether I'll find her a loving home where she can count on more individual attention than I can give her, but one thing is certain, this is one bit of stolen "property" who is never returning to you. So sue me, prosecute me, plead with the courts that she is rightfully yours...I'm convinced this is the best "crime" I've ever committed. Hardly anything has pleased me more than the day I stole your dog. I need only look into her beautiful brown eyes to know that she'd defend my decision with her life. If we have one prayer, it is that you will not replace her, and if we have one special day to commemorate together, it is the day I stole your dog and the day she stole my heart.

The above was copied from a website, Andrew's Heaven, where it appeared uncredited. Upon further research, it has come to my attention that this piece was written by Jim Willis and is copyrighted 2002. He has written several books and stories about animals. His website can be viewed here.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2006-02-23T15:09:00.000-08:00

Nothing pisses me off more than being caught speechless.

The manager of a department I work with (not FOR) just came raging into my office about 20 minutes ago, bitching me up one side and down the other.

I had copied/pasted a file note into an email, informing one of our customers of a situation because the customer emailed me asking.

The file note I pasted didn't seem to me to be anything more than informative, but apparently it revealed to our customer some fuckup of said manager's people. This is not the first time this manager and her people have been caught with their pants down.

So who gets yelled at? Me. Because I sent our customer the information.

And what does my dumb ass do? I sit there at my desk while she hollers at me. I am left utterly without words.

I have a precarious position in this company. I am not a manager, but I do not have a manager either. I report directly to the owner, and he's away skiing. Because the work I do involves frequent contact with this manager and her department, she has (more than once) acted like I am her employee, to berate and bitch at upon at her slightest whim.

I fucking hate how I can't ever come up with good defensive maneuvers when I'm in a situation like this. I am left angry at the other person, feeling abused, pissed at myself, and feeling weak.

*sigh*

Update/Recipe Tuesday, vol. 3

2006-02-21T13:45:00.000-08:00

This is sort of a non-recipe. No specific quantities are known- I just throw it together and taste. Everything can be adjusted. I like mine with a lot of garlic and a lot of liquid to soak the toast, which is barely GBD (golden brown and delicious) and still chewy inside. Good food is always adjustable to personal tastes.

And to properly make bruschetta, you need to know how to pronounce bruschetta.

Say it with me: broo-SKETT-uh, NOT broo-SHETT-uh.

Easy Bruschetta

Serves 2-4

6 Roma tomatoes, or whatever kind is fresh, ripe but firm, and red (My Pawpaw grows the bestest 'maters this side of the Mississippi.)
Extra virgin olive oil (use the good stuff- you'll taste the difference)
Balsamic vinegar (again, good stuff)
Lots of fresh garlic- either crushed in a press or minced fine with a knife (minced is hotter due to bigger pieces to bite)
Kosher salt and fresh ground pepper
Pinch dried oregano
Loaf of fresh French or Italian bread

In a plastic container with a lid, make a dressing of olive oil, a splash of balsamic, crushed or minced garlic, and oregano. Chop tomatoes, add them to the olive oil mixture, and season to taste with salt and pepper.

Allow the tomatoes to marinate in the fridge or at room temperature for up to an hour. The tomatoes will be too soggy the next day- this is a same-day dish.

Cut the bread into 1/2" slices, lay flat on a baking sheet, drizzle or brush with olive oil, and sprinkle with kosher salt. Bake the bread slices at 400° until barely golden brown and crispy on the edges.

Serve the bruschetta with the warm toast slices, and possibly a pack of gum for everyone's garlic breath afterward. Tasty!

So, I started the Jazzercise classes last Tuesday. Sheesh, am I out of shape! I returned Thursday and signed up. It's actually a lot of fun, and the hour zips by like nobody's bidness.

DH rags on me for being interested in "classes" for everything, but I can't help myself. I'm going to attend some cake decorating sessions at a local Michaels craft store. He won't be bitching when I produce a wonderful and gorgeous cake for his 30th birthday in May!

I finished two more audio books last week- House of Thunder and Strange Highways by Dean Koontz. House of Thunder was incredibly intriguing. The only problem was that it was read by an Englishman who didn't do very convincing female voices. Strange Highways was excellent, and short- only about 5 and a half hours of audio. I have started listening to another Koontz tome, this one read by a woman, but at the moment the name escapes me.

I've also recently purchased two regular books, Bad Childhood, Good Life and Woman Power by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Woman Power is a companion and follow-up to a fabulous book she wrote, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I have not yet read either of the new books, but I'm looking forward to them.

Checked out some new music lately, too: Madonna's newest, Confessions on a Dancefloor; some good ole breakbeats by Plump DJs; and some old music that's new to me, an assortment of Ray Charles.

~Skwerl!

What the hell do I know?

2006-02-14T11:27:00.000-08:00

These showed up right before I left to pick up lunch for DH and myself. See previous post for a good giggle. Well, folks, he was already guaranteed to get lucky tonight...now, even more so.

Día de San Valentino

2006-02-14T08:05:00.000-08:00

Felíz día de San Valentino a todos. Happy Valentine's Day.

I wish I could say I've been surprised with some lovely flowers or something by my DH, but I have not. I don't think I will be, either.

Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to understand that even though V-Day is a manufactured holiday for the sake of retailers, jewelers, and florists, it's still an established custom and you are supposed to get flowers for your woman. In six and a half years, I've gotten flowers on V-day once...right after we got engaged. *le sigh*

And women, you should be doing something nice for your men as well!

Well, tonight is my first Jazzercise class. I've been in desperate need of some pound sheddage and fitness, and had tossed around the idea of a Jazzercise class. I finally found one near both home and work. The rest of them are way across town. So this evening, at 6:00, I'll be checking it out for the first time. I think it'll be enjoyable.

I will definitely need to go purchase some workout type clothing soon. Ever tried bouncing around and sweating in an underwire bra made of synthetic materials? That'll give the girls some lovely chafing red marks in a quick hurry.

Happy "Gotcha" Day, Lucy!

2006-02-10T12:42:00.000-08:00

Today is the one year anniversary of us finding Lucy in the parking lot of our old building at work. This little black streak was about 3 months old, skinny, dehydrated, wormy, and scared to death.

Now she's healthy as a horse, and the sweetest, dumbest but smartest, most fun-loving dog you'll ever meet.

Baby Goose, Frog Dog, Rotten Stinkmonkey, I love you to pieces. Thanks for letting me pick you up in that parking lot and making me fall in love with you!

One year ago:

Today:

Update (who can come up with witty titles every time?)

2006-02-08T07:42:00.000-08:00

Ok, ok, so it's been two weeks since my last post. Didja miss me?

Not like anyone READS this blog, anyway. I have several that I read faithfully, and only one provides semi-daily posts...Velociman. The rest of y'all suck balls.

Made some cookies last night, freakin' YUM. Alton Brown's recipe for chewy chocolate chip, with the addition of half a bag of Reese's peanut butter chips. Quite tasty and dewishus. Dinner consisted of chicken and rice with creamy cilantro sauce.

I've added a whole new routine to my life lately. Upon hearing that household maintenance can be a source of stress for me, my counselor recommended I visit a website called FlyLady.net. FlyLady's website is intended to help homemakers, be they stay at home moms or paid worker bees, to get and keep their homes in order - clean, de-cluttered, and inviting - with minimal stress.

I've been paying this man $25 an hour for two months (thank goodness for insurance), and the most helpful thing he's done so far is recommend a website that doesn't cost me a dime. You sign up for their email list and visit the site daily for tips. It's great, and I've wished I knew more women who care about having a clean house, so I could recommend it.

Most of the women I work with think that homemaking is for the boids. They don't cook for their families, and would rather work overtime (well, they CALL it working...) than spend time at home. I wonder sometimes how these people live. I can't imagine eating fast food all the time, or even the nasty packaged convenience foods I pass at the grocery store (like those disgusting looking casserole things...*shudder*). Spurious ingredients, those- chock full o' preservatives, saturated fat, and imitation cheese product, while simultaneously lacking vitamins, minerals, and fiber. MMmmmmkay, no thanks. Think I'll pass on arteriosclerosis and the bee-gees (bubble guts).

Fark all that noise! I'd rather be at home, in a sparkling clean and comfortable house with my husband and dogs, eating delicious and healthy (or at least healthier) food that I made.

Baby humans and baby hogs

2006-01-26T11:39:00.000-08:00

Well, we went to the hospital last night and saw our brand new niece, Alexandra! She was gorgeous, I can honestly say. You know how some newborn babies are a little on the fugly side? Not Lexi. Perfectly pink and pretty, with a little round dome full of dark hair, her dad's chin, ten tiny fingers, and ten tiny toes. She weighed 6 lbs., 6 oz. and was 20" long.

Hubby and I are considering ownership of a hedgehog. We'd been tossing around the idea of a hamster or something to keep at his office, and decided a hedgie would be perfect. They're easy to care for, litter-box trainable, affectionate, and durn cute. Now the only trick is to find a place to buy one. Apparently, sellers of hedgehogs must be USDA-licensed, and it's a pain, according to a local pet supply. Wish us luck!

Anyone have experiences with small animals they'd like to share?

Getting down with the sickness

2006-01-25T08:58:00.000-08:00

No, not the crappy nu-metal song, but real sickness- the kind involving copious amounts of sleeping, sneezing, snotting, snorting, and spitting.

Been sick with a cold for the past few days. Hubby had it last week, I came down with it Friday night, just in time to ruin my weekend. I had to call in sick to my animal rescue volunteer gig on Saturday, and stayed home from work yesterday. Staying home from work = not that bad. Not getting to play with and love on homeless doggies = real craptacular.

The crappiest thing about the germ sitch is that my new niece is being born today. Hubby thinks we should abstain from the hospital. DAMMIT, I am certifiably baby crazy. You do NOT get between a hormonal, desperate-to-be-pregnant chick and a newborn - you stick your hand in there, you'll pull back a bloody nub. If I have to wear a surgical mask and forego that wonderful baby smell for now, so be it, but I at least wanna hold little Alexandra (Lexi for short) on the day of her entrance into the world!

Ahh, almost forgot...obviously, the blog has a new look.

Blogger.com has quite a few templates to choose from, and I thought I'd go with something more colorful. You like?

Oh. I've been thinking lately. I know I have at least one regular reader. Anyone else? No one ever comments, and my ego is suffering for it.

I know there are at least two other blogs that I read/comment on regularly, whose authors spare nary a word of encouragement or dissent on my lowly blog, *ahemdoug* *ahemmatt*.

You want readers, guys, you gotta read others' stuff and post comments. It's the polite thing to do.

Ben Franklin is 300 today

2006-01-17T07:51:00.000-08:00

From the Wikipedia article on Benjamin Franklin:

Benjamin Franklin (January 17, 1706 – April 17, 1790) was one of the most prominent of Founders and early political figures and statesmen of the United States. Considered the earliest of the Founders, Franklin was noted for his curiosity, ingenuity and diversity of interests. His wit and wisdom is proverbial to this day. More than anyone else, he shaped the American Revolution despite never holding national elective office. As a leader of the Enlightenment he had the attention of scientists and intellectuals all across Europe. As agent in London before the Revolution, and Minister to France during, he more than anyone defined the new nation in the minds of Europe. His success in securing French military and financial aid was decisive for American victory over Britain. He invented the lightning rod; he invented the notion of colonial unity; he invented the idea of America; historians hail him as the "First American". The city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania will mark Franklin's 300th Birthday in January 2006, with a wide array of exhibitions, and events citing Franklin's extraordinary accomplishments throughout his illustrious career.

Born in Boston, Massachusetts, to a tallow-maker, Franklin became a newspaper editor, printer, and merchant in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, becoming very wealthy. He spent many years in England and published the famous Poor Richard's Almanack and Pennsylvania Gazette. He formed both the first public lending library and fire department in America as well as the Junto, a political discussion club.

He became a national hero in America when he convinced Parliament to repeal the hated Stamp Act. A diplomatic genius, Franklin was almost universally admired among the French as American minister to Paris, and was a major figure in the development of positive Franco-American relations. From 1775 to 1776, Franklin was Postmaster General under the Continental Congress and from 1785 to his death in 1790 was President of the Supreme Executive Council of Pennsylvania.

Franklin was interested in science and technology, carrying out his famous electricity experiments and invented the Franklin stove, medical catheter, lightning rod, swimfins, glass harmonica, and bifocals. He also played a major role in establishing the higher education institutions that would become the Ivy League's University of Pennsylvania and the Franklin and Marshall College. In addition, Franklin was a noted linguist, fluent in five languages. He also practiced and published on astrology (see Poor Richard's Almanac).

Franklin was also noted for his philanthropy and several extramarital liaisons, including that which produced his illegitimate Loyalist son William Franklin, later the colonial governor of New Jersey. Towards the end of his life, he became one of the most prominent early American abolitionists. Today Franklin is pictured on the U.S. $100 bill.

You must watch this video

2006-01-13T13:58:00.000-08:00

I highly recommend this video. I nearly cried laughing.

"The average person attempts to decode the mysterious language of emo."

Google Video Link

My Onion Horoscope

2006-01-11T08:02:00.000-08:00

The Onion, profferer of all things witty, sarcastic, and hilarious, apparently has daily horoscopes on their website.

My horoscope for today:

Cancer
A financial windfall means that you're not only able to speak your mind to the world, but also able to hire "Macho Man" Randy Savage to do it for you.

Catlover's horoscope for today:

Scorpio
Your death will be so protracted and violent that investigators will let your mother down easy by telling her you were sodomized in half by a horse.

Uhh, I like mine better...sorry, B.

Update/Recipe Tuesday, vol. 2

2006-01-10T11:06:00.000-08:00

Well, let's have the update before the recipe.

I humbly submit that teenagers should not be allowed to drive. Yes, dear readers, my husband and I got in a car accident, caused by some dumbass teenagers fucking around on Saturday night. In our new car, a 2006 Chrysler 300C. That we've only had for a month. Yeah.

We were in the left lane heading northbound on a fairly busy street Saturday night, while taking a drive after a tasty dinner of Mexican food. Three cars of teenage boys were screwing around, as they are known to do on this particular street on the weekends.

Cars A and B pulled in front of us from the right lane, so my husband backed off the gas to add buffer space. The third car took advantage and squeezed in in front of us. All three cars then slammed on their brakes. A and B were unscathed and took off in the left turn lane.

We called the cops, and it took them 20 minutes to show up. My husband told the officer in no uncertain terms that this was NOT our fault. The teenage dipshit we hit claimed he'd been in the left lane for 30 seconds before we hit him. Uh, hello, no. It was pull in front of us, screech to a stop (I heard his tires), and WHAM, SHIT! That quickly. My husband urgently said my name so that I just barely looked up from the radio when we hit.

Anyway, police report is filed, claim is made against his insurance, haven't heard from the adjustor yet, and I have a lovely greenish bruise on my right shoulder from my seatbelt. I happened to be leaning forward to change the radio station when we crashed, so the slack in the belt locked up with me forward, and then when I whipped back into the seat and forward again, it hurted my baby shoulder. :(

As soon as the wreck happened, I felt my blood begin to boil. It was all I could do to stay in the car, and not get out screaming in the street at the stupid ass teenager, "YOU STUPID ASSHOLE, WE'VE ONLY HAD THIS CAR FOR A MONTH! DON'T YOU IDIOTS WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING???" I was literally shaking from the adrenaline, freezing my butt off and sweating at the same time.

What made me even more furious was sitting there waiting for the cops. As my husband and I waited, we watched the intersection in front of us have several near-misses, again, stupid ass kids almost hitting people, driving too fast, changing lanes like they're the only ones on the road.

I know for a fact that I did not drive this way when I was 16/17. I couldn't! My parents would've killed me, and I had paid for my own car.

Ok, rant time over. Count back from five. Deep cleansing breaths.

For the second installment of Recipe Tuesday, my very own version of Chicken Chili.

Chicken Chili

Serves 6-8

3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 1.5 lbs.)
Garlic salt and fresh black pepper
Olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
4 celery stalks, chopped
2-4 cups chicken stock or broth, as desired
1 can Ro-Tel tomatoes with green chilis, with juice
1 can corn, drained
1 can black beans or Great Northern beans, drained and rinsed (I prefer black beans; the white ones can be mushy)
2 tsp. oregano
1 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
3-4 cloves garlic, minced (I scoff at recipes that call for one clove of garlic)
1 tsp. Chipotle Tabasco sauce, or more to taste*
2 tsp. chili powder**
1 Tbsp. ground cumin
Sour cream and cilantro, optional garnish

Cube the chicken breasts, season with garlic salt and pepper, and saute in olive oil in a large stock pot. (If you are so inclined, you may also grill whole breasts instead and chop them up. This creates a crust on the chicken, and the chicken won't be as tender.)

When the chicken begins to brown, add chopped onion and celery and cook until they begin to soften. Add oregano, Worcestershire, garlic, Tabasco, chili powder, and cumin. Stir well to distribute spices.

Add the undrained Ro-Tel and drained corn. Add between 2 and 4 cups of stock, depending on how watery you like it. More stock, more of a soup texture. My husband prefers less stock, because all he wants is the "guts."

Bring the chili to a simmer and let it go, uncovered, for about 20 minutes.

About 10 minutes before serving, add the drained, rinsed beans and heat through.

Serve with a healthy dollop of sour cream on top and a sprinkling of chopped cilantro leaves. Like most chilis, this is also great the second day.

* Chipotle Tabasco is made from smoked jalapeños, and has a smoky, barbeque-y, almost tomato-ey flavor. If you prefer straight heat, use the hot sauce of your choice.

** I use a combination of store bought chili powder and home-ground dried ancho chiles. Anchos are mild in flavor, and can be found in the Latin food section of large grocery stores.

Enjoy.

Which Happy Bunny are you?

2006-01-06T12:04:00.000-08:00

Congratulations. You are the "Kiss My Ass" Happy Bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud.

Which happy bunny are you?
Brought to you by Quizilla

Post Holiday Recovery

2006-01-04T09:27:00.000-08:00

Well, we made it through Christmas and NYE just fine. This new year holds a lot of promise and big events.

One side of my family is having a huge reunion in June, and I'm really looking forward to attending with my husband, who has not met most of those people yet and is in for quite a treat. My Pawpaw and his siblings are the base generation for the reunion. He is the second of 8 kids - six boys and two girls - so of course, there are tons of people in our family, and we're scattered all over the country, from South Carolina to Montana to Oklahoma to California to Idaho.

There are some big birthdays in my immediate family this year. I and my husband will both be turning 30! I also have two cousins turning 16, one turning 18, an aunt and uncle both turning 50, another uncle turning 55, and a bratty ass niece turning 5, which hopefully will put an end to her reign of terror. Her two older siblings were also rotten until they turned five.

Last but certainly not least, we are awaiting the birth of another niece in early February! Well, technically she's not related, but her dad is my DH's best friend from high school, and said best friend's parents have practically adopted my husband, so dammit, we're Auntie and Unkie.

Recent development: I started therapy. Yep, good ole counseling with a Licensed Professional Counselor. I've been twice, and it seems like it'll be useful. The guy uses the cognitive approach to therapy, the basic premise of which is that if you can change your thinking, you can change your behavior. I like that idea.

Christmas was cool, as usual. DH and I got a nice Cuisinart coffee maker and toaster from Dear Ole Dad. I got a KitchenAid stand mixer from DH, as well as an assortment of other goodies. It was a very booky Christmas. DH gave me several true story books about dogs- a couple of beagle books and one called Marley and Me, about a newspaper guy and his wife in Florida who get a yellow Lab. The Lab, Marley, is described as being "the worst dog in the world." I highly recommend this book. You will laugh out loud until your sides hurt and cry until you have snail trails on your sleeve from wiping your nose.

I also got a handful of paperbacks, several Dean Koontz and John Grisham's most recent, The Broker.

DH and I took last week off, and were basically lazy. Now that I'm back at work, I'm cranking up some more audiobooks on the iPod. I finished Forever Odd by Dean Koontz, the sequel to his very excellent book Odd Thomas from a couple of years ago. I am half way through Mr. Murder, another Koontz tome.

Koontz rawks. Not only does he blend humor and suspense like no one else, he throws in a lot of big words. I've been listening to these audiobooks with paper and pen at hand, and have written down a page and a half of new words to learn. Some of the better ones are: autodidact, miasma, erudite, cabal, rapacious, mendacity, sanguine, comestible, and elucidation.

I'm an autodidact, a person who is self-taught.

God, I love big words.

Seven Deadly Sins

2005-12-23T09:35:00.000-08:00

Greed:	High
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Five Weird Things About Me

2005-12-21T21:16:00.000-08:00

Yabu has tagged everyone who read his meme to reply in kind, so here goes.

Five Weird Things About Me

1. I have quite a few OCD type compulsions- toilet paper must hang outward, clothing in the closet must be hung in color order, CDs and mp3 folders are all organized alphabetically by artist (CDs in order of release date for each artist), etc.

2. I am neurotic and creative at the same time. I can be very crafty and artsy fartsy (painting, beading, writing), but at the same time, it has to be just right or I'll redo the whole thing. (Craft paints and beads are also organized by color; see number one, above)

3. I have a ginormous soft spot for all animals except snakes, and yet I am an unrepentant carnivore. Snakes can burn in the fiery pits of unquenchable Hades for all I care, but don't ever EVER mess with a dog, cat, horse, goat, seal, kangaroo, zebra, liger, or hedgehog. Don't abuse cows either. They must make my milk, T-bones, and next season's boots, so treat them right.

4. I am a 29 year old female college graduate who cooks for her husband every day. (Am I the only one that thinks this is weird?)

5. Even after recent completion of the aforementioned college, which took 6 years, my most anticipated upcoming career move is that of stay-at-home mom to my soon-to-be-conceived children.

And the bonus round, just for shits and giggles:

6. My musical tastes run the gamut from classical to heavy metal to electronic. Some days it's Josh Groban and Tchaikovsky; others, Alice In Chains and White Zombie; and others still, Depeche Mode and Röyksopp.

Why I'm not renewing my Cosmo subscription

2005-12-16T11:03:00.000-08:00

I've been a subscriber to Cosmopolitan magazine for several years. It offered mindless entertainment month after month, without fail- hair and makeup tips, fashion spreads, funny "I can't believe I did that" stories, and the requisite juicy celebrity gossip.

Now, however, as Glamour magazine did a few years ago, Cosmo has lost its lustre to me in more ways than one.

I ended my Glamour subscription because I was tired of seeing article after article telling me about how I need to protect my right to abortions. As I am a staunch supporter of life and the right to it, these articles stuck in my craw enough to make me put down the magazine. I had subscribed for the proclaimed purpose of the magazine - fashion and glamour - and that was not what I got. If I had wanted a politically charged/liberal magazine, I'd not have chosen one named Glamour; I'd have gone with something a little more overt, like Abortion Times, or perhaps Baby Killer Weekly.

Cosmo has become trite to me with their oversexed attitudes. Every cover has the word "sex" or some variant no fewer than 4 times. On the December cover: "The Sexiest Things to do Before Sex," "Guys' Sex Drive," "Your Sexual Health," "Girl On Top: These 9 Pleasure-Maxing Sex Positions Will Send You Both to the Moon."

Give me a fucking break. (No pun intended.) This magazine makes 20 to 30 somethings look like a bunch of nymphomaniacs. Again, if I'd wanted a magazine dedicated to sex, I'd have chosen something else.

My January issue arrived yesterday. I did my normal flip-through of the whole thing, removing the loose subscription cards that inevitably drive me crazy. (Yes, I am a nutjob. This has already been well established in previous posts.)

An article in the middle was nothing out of the ordinary; one of their trademark assemblies of shocking or funny mini-stories from various women. This one is titled, "Naughty Nannies: Busted."

The tagline reads, "Naughty nannies have been making headlines lately. Here, Cosmo rounded up salacious stories from young moms scorned by their misbehaving babysitters." The women telling the stories are ages 30, 27, 33, 26, 31, and 31. Their stories run the gamut from attempted husband stealing to jewelry theft to on-the-job sleeping.

"Oh my," you, the concerned reader, may think. "Those nannies are awful! Those poor parents, hiring someone so rotten!"

Nay, nay, dear reader. The nannies are not the ones to blame.

I blame the women telling these little stories.

When you hire someone to come into your home and do YOUR job of raising your child/children, what do you expect?

Naturally, the nanny is already playing the part of mother. So why should you begrudge her the job of wife as well?

If you can afford to have someone live in your house and raise your child full time, while you gallivant off to whatever career or other time waster you see fit, then dammit, you can afford to stay home and raise your child your damn self.

Kids are not a hobby. They are not a distraction. They are not a part time, evenings, and Sundays responsibility.

Having children is a full time, 24/7/365, no sick days, no paid holidays, no time off, no substitutions responsibility.

I haven't waited 29 plus years for kids just so I can farm them out to a live-in babysitter or outside daycare facility for them to be raised. Why would any parent want to miss out on all the wonderful "firsts?" First word, first step, first self-feeding, first sit-up, first roll over, first smile. Seems like a damn shame to miss that stuff.

Careers can wait. Jobs with a paycheck can be performed by anyone.

No one can replace a mommy or a daddy.

Interesting day

2005-12-15T19:09:00.000-08:00

Wow. What a ride the last 24 hours has been. Has been? Have been? Dunno.

Last night, at about 12:30, our two girl dogs got into a tussle in the kitchen over some scrap or crumb. I put the muzzle on Lucy, a 50+ lb. lab mix, and was getting the muzzle on the smaller girl, Betty, a 22 lb. beagle, when I realized her ear was bleeding. Lucy had nipped a quarter-inch slit in the edge of Betty's ear. *sigh*

I applied pressure with some tissue after cleaning the wound with peroxide. The bleeding would stop, and then Betty would shake her head and fling blood. This happened a couple of different times before my husband and I decided to apply a large Band-Aid with Neosporin to the wound, and then Ace bandage Betty's ear to her head. She hates it, but tough shit. She's the instigator in any of these little scuffles they have over food. Betty has food aggression, and Lucy doesn't know her own strength.

Anyway, Betty came to work with me today so I could keep an eye on her ear. We went from Ace bandage to masking tape when she was clearly uncomfortably hot and panting. It sounds awful, but the tape mostly sticks to itself, and is wrapped around her head just enough to hold the ear down so it can scab over.

So that was fun.

Later this afternoon, despite having my baby dog by my side, I began having some of the old familiar anxiety creeping upon me. The things that annoyed me were all small in and of themselves...mostly the inefficiencies and disorganization of the place where I work...and the fact that our lazy ghetto ass 19 year old baby mama receptionist is too lazy to transfer any phone calls, so she simply pages over the intercom for every incoming call. "So and so, you have a call on 501." Her voice grates my last fucking nerve. I almost unplugged my phone.

I am renewing my commitment to finding good audiobooks to load on the ole iPod Shuffle, so I can plug my ears with decent literature while working. It really passes the time, and I actually work better than when I'm just listening to music.

I listened to Dean Koontz's Velocity earlier this week. It rawked. I love his writing style- he is not afraid to use unusual words, and his metaphors are out of sight.

This evening has been good.

I just got done watching CSI, which I hadn't seen in several weeks. Good stuff. I'm all over the blood and guts and science of it. I know many of their tactics are bullshit (no police department in this country has the resources they have, especially to process their own DNA evidence, and crime scene techs do not interrogate suspects), but I can look past that.

By the way, the Las Vegas CSI is the only CSI worth watching, in my opinion.

Now, of course, I'm on the computer blogging and listening to Aqualung while my husband snores away on the couch.

When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but an interesting news headline on Yahoo: "Freeman Criticizes Black History Month." So I click on the link and the article absolutely impresses me. I mean, I knew Morgan Freeman was the shiznit as an actor, but I had no idea he was smart too!

"You're going to relegate my history to a month?" the 68-year-old actor says in an interview on CBS' "60 Minutes" to air Sunday (7 p.m. EST). "I don't want a black history month. Black history is American history."

Freeman notes there is no "white history month," and says the only way to get rid of racism is to "stop talking about it."

The actor says he believes the labels "black" and "white" are an obstacle to beating racism.

"I am going to stop calling you a white man and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man," Freeman says.

Well, skin me alive and call me luggage. It's about time someone non-white said it. Time to do away with all the other institutionalized racism, while we're at it: Black Miss Anything pageants, race-based scholarships, racial quotas in corporate hiring or school admissions, and school bussing.

Questions for you to ponder

2005-12-06T14:26:00.000-08:00

An Issue of Pride

Why do some gays insist on shoving their homosexuality out there to the whole world? I understand being comfortable in your own skin, and I have no problem with gay people being gay. It's their right, and none of my business what they do in their bedrooms.

What I don't get is the whole gay pride thing...the rainbows, the pink triangles, the parades, any of it.

I believe that people are born straight or born gay - that there's nothing really you can do about it unless you choose to act otherwise. It's not an accomplishment to be straight or gay. It's nothing you have to struggle to become. It just is. So what is there to be proud of?

I'm a married woman. I love my husband and happily dated other men before I met him. I don't go around with stickers on my car saying "Hetero Pride" or wearing a t-shirt proclaiming "Straight Chicks Rule" or "Happily Banging My Husband On A Regular Basis."

I feel the same way about so-called racial pride. It's not an accomplishment. It just is. Womanhood is another one. I like being a woman; it suits me just fine. I do not, however, feel the need to proclaim my femininity from the rooftops or be a man-hater or femi-Nazi in order to be a real woman.

If you are happy to be what you are- man, woman, gay, straight, black, white, Irish, Latvian, whatever- I'm glad for you, and more power to ya. Why make a big deal out of it?

Real pride, in my opinion, comes from accomplishments and hard work. My license plate cover proclaims me an alumnus of my Alma Mater, because dammit, I worked hard for 6 years to graduate. Too bad the Summa Cum Laude isn't on there as well. I may roll my eyes at all the "My Kid is an Honor Student" bumper stickers, but really, parents, you rock that sticker for all it's worth.

Dizzy Monday

2005-12-05T11:19:00.000-08:00

Well, today is my second day off of drugs. Yes, you read that right. I was on drugs until last Saturday; the drug of note was of the prescription variety, but it was a drug nonetheless.

As of this weekend, I am no longer on Paxil for depression and anxiety. I've been taking it for about a year and a half, and honestly, I don't think it has done much for me.

It might have helped take the edge off when I was going through one of my Superwoman crises or depression jags, but I'll never really know.

My Superwoman moments go like this: something gets backed up, usually housecleaning, or this time last year, school work. I start to get anxious and other things begin to pile up on me. Suddenly, I'm noticing every speck of dust and dirty dish and pile of laundry and unfinished craft project. There's too much to do. I don't have time to do it all. My husband does nothing. My dogs do nothing. I'm never going to graduate. I'm not appreciated. I can't do anything. Nothing ever goes right. Everything comes crashing down and I FLIP the HELL OUT. I usually have a tension headache for 3 to 4 days afterwards.

My depression usually comes out of similar circumstances, but with a general malaise and tons of sleeping to try to avoid the anxiety. Both are fueled by a desire to do all, be all, and be perfect, with a subsequent realization of the impossibility of that.

As a side note, I would recommend that anyone wanting off of their antidepressant gets clean with their doctor's help. I ran out of my Paxil for 3 days once, not meaning to but too busy to go to the pharmacy. By day two, I had serious stomach issues (my husband calls it the BGs- bubble guts) and dizziness. This was a dizziness like none I had ever experienced. The best way to describe it is that I felt like my body was vibrating inside my skin. I feel some of that same dizziness today, this being my second day without the meds. I'm sure my tummy will have some rebellion also. Also, my sleep quality for the last several weeks has been crap.

My doc had me first go from 30mg to 20mg. After 15 days of 20mg tablets, I broke the pills in half for the remainder of the bottle.

DH and I are trying to get pregnant. That was my main impetus for weaning off of the Paxil, with doctor supervision of course. My other reason was that I didn't want to be a pill hound for the rest of my days. With a family history of depression and other various and sundry mental health issues, I knew I'd have to live with it the rest of my life, so I wanted to find better ways to deal.

The best solution for me thus far has been behavioral modification. To keep from having Superwoman crises and subsequent bouts of depression, I do myself the favor of keeping up with dishes, laundry, etc., even when I don't feel like it. Since I love to cook and bake, this means doing dishes every day (ugh). My least favorite thing to do is dust, but if I vacuum more often, I don't have to dust quite so much, and I don't mind vacuuming. (My new Dyson vacuum helps even more. I love it!) It's a series of small compromises with myself: Get this yucky thing over with, then enjoy this relaxing/fun thing (like practicing making babies- my libido's returning as well, thankfully!).

I'll probably have nagging "not good enough" feelings in my head for the rest of my life, but they don't have to rule me.

Magnetic Poems

2005-11-28T08:39:00.000-08:00

I just gave a set of Wine Lover's Magnetic Poetry as a birthday gift to catlover926, and it prompted me to post some of my very own refrigerator compositions.

I have two sets of the magnetic words, the Shakespeare and Dog Lover versions. I have composed permanently installed poems to my beloved husband and three dogs. Here they are! (As none of the magnetic words are capitalized, and some plurals must be created with an "s" instead of "ies," etc., the versions here are slightly different than the ones on my fridge. I'm too picky about grammar to replicate such here. Deal with it!)

Any of my friends and family that visit my house are invited to create their own poem on my fridge.

Names of my dogs have been changed to protect them from being embarassed by their silly mama.

To my husband:

I dream of him at night
And then too in the morning
I feel him around me always
He is my love
And I am his squirrel

For Bubba:

Friend and animal
Favorite fur
Always faithful
Never afraid to protect without question
Happy with love
And a bone

For Woo:

Sweet girl
So seemly a lady
Graceful, beautiful
She is all dog
Belching and licking
Her butt

For Goose:

Little black pup
Dirty, hungry, dog-tired
Come hither
Say farewell to the perilous streets
Come eat, sleep, play
Discover a dream
And friends

A, B, C...all about me

2005-11-21T15:26:00.000-08:00

A-B-C... It's all about me

Another silly meme. I tag my usual peeps...HardcoreDoug, MattV, and catlover926.

A is for Age - 29

B is for Booze – Grey Goose vodka and cranberry juice with a twist of lime

C is for Career – Paralegal

D is for Dad’s name - Dad

E is for Essential items to bring to a party - A bottle of wine for the hosts

F is for Favorite article of clothing- A soft long-sleeved tee and the jeans I already wore yesterday

G is for Goof off thing to do - Read Vogue, Maxim, and celebrity gossip blogs like Perez Hilton.

H is for Hometown - The people who matter know.

I is for Instrument you play – Um, hmm. None.

J is for Jam or Jelly you like - Strawberry (what else is there?)

K is for Kids – Two as yet unborn

L is for Living arrangement – Married 2 years, shacked up with him for 4 before that.

M is for Music I like – The gamut from Alice In Chains to Vivaldi, ABBA to White Zombie.

N is for Name of your first pet - As a child, a Benji-type mutt named Punky. As an adult, a black cat named Bagheera. I *heart* you, Baggy, wherever you are!

O is for overnight hospital stays – 14 days for a busted elbow in traction at age 12

P is for Phobias – Snakes, failure

Q is for Quote you like - "You have to forget about what other people say- when you're supposed to die, when you're supposed to be loving. You have to go on and be crazy. Craziness is like heaven." ~Jimi Hendrix

R is for Reason for blogging – Anonymous self expression and an insatiable thirst for praise

S is for Siblings – Three younger bros and one younger sis, none of which looks up to me.

T is for Texas, ever been? Absolutely.

U is for Unique trait – Only child out of 5 that will have graduated college without any financial help from Dad, and prolly the only one to graduate Summa Cum Laude. *curtsey*

V if for Vegetable you love - Cucumbers, garlic, any veg really

W is for Worst traits – Intellectual snobbery, especially against the grammatically impaired

X is for X-Rays you’ve had – See hospital stay in re broken elbow. Dunno how many times they x-rayed that sumbitch.

Y is for Yummy food you make – Awesome baked beans, chocolate cake, oatmeal raisin cookies

Z is for Zodiac sign – Cancer

Do something nice for others

2005-11-18T12:40:00.000-08:00

I hate the term "compassionate conservatism," like conservatism in and of itself does not include compassion unless you add it on. Bull puckey.

I also detest the usage of "less fortunate" and "disadvantaged." Honestly, most of the great unwashed in our country are just as fortunate and advantaged as the rest of us. They screwed up their lives with poor choices of dropping out, joblessness, drugs, alkeehol, gambling, unwed childbearing, crime, etc. If you need words to use for these types, try "poor" or "homeless."

The only ones who are truly less fortunate and disadvantaged are the children of the adult unwashed. They didn't ask to be born unto lazy ne'er-do-wells, just like I didn't ask to be born so freakin' smart. :D

Regardless, I do want to help my fellow man. I already posted about the ARF volunteering. That was easy. I love animals. They're without guile, without deception. They don't milk welfare. They don't forge Social Security information or lie on their taxes. They do tend to have a lot of illegitimate children, especially those slutty cats, so I guess they are a little like people, but that's where the similarities end. I guess if you're talking about MY animals, they can also be very lazy and shiftless. But they're cute, so that's ok. And I got mine fixed.

Anyway, I'm trying to go outside of myself a bit and help others, the human kind. Fear not, I'm not going all bedwetting liberal or anything. Just trying to help those in need, especially kids.

I've just organized a food drive at my job for the local Community Food Bank. Two large cardboard boxes and a few well-placed posters will do most of the work. Hopefully my coworkers will go along and help fill the boxes with non-perishables.

We have a rather nice company Chrismas party coming up in a month; I'm contemplating doing Toys For Tots on that one..

Now don't get me wrong. I am certainly no bleeding heart. My motives are purely selfish. I like showing my liberal coworkers that Democrats do not corner the market on being generous and charitable. My animal volunteering is way selfish- I get to play with cats and dogs all day! My bloodletting to the Red Cross is meant to get me over my fear of needles before I go and have kids, meaning IVs and possibly an epidural. My regular boxes of clothing to Goodwill is a much more desirable choice than having garage sales, which are always pains in the ass and remind me too much of my mother and her secondhand fetish.

So fear not. I'm still as coldhearted and mean as ever.

Another meme!

2005-11-17T08:37:00.000-08:00

This one was invented by my cuzzin HardcoreDoug. I tag Key and Yabu. They don't really know me, so yes, this is more shameless self-promotion in an attempt to get more readers.

Open your media player, set it to random/shuffle on your entire library, click through the first 20 songs, and list them.

Here are mine:

"Your Most Valuable Possession" - Ben Folds Five
"Player's Ball" - Outkast
"In The Waiting Line" - Zero 7
"Baghdad" - Jesse Cook
"Part of Me" - Tool
"I Walk Alone" - Oleander
"Sweat" - Tool
"Way Down" - Elvis Presley
"The Enemy Is You" - Elliott Smith
"Tomorrow" - Information Society
"Down In A Hole (Unplugged Version)" - Alice In Chains
"Pleasure, Little Treasure" - Depeche Mode
"Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" - Trans-Siberian Orchestra
"Axel F" - Harold Faltermeyer
"Atomic Fuck Machine" - Cafe Del Mar Porn Grooves
"Uninvited" - Alanis Morissette
"Bled White" - Elliott Smith
"Sure Shot" - Beastie Boys
"Insight" - Depeche Mode
"I'll Never Fall In Love Again" - Burt Bacharach and Elvis Costello

Now, if you have some real time on your hands, then put Amazon links on your songs so others can explore your favorite music. I just don't have the inclination to do that. I'm lazy.

Quite an interesting mix so far. I leave my work computer on during the week, and thus my media player (WMP) is open all week, and it's usually on shuffle. This makes my daily mix a good'un.

Now that I'm nearing the end of this post, I've heard two full songs after the 20 shorties. Number 21 was "Untitled" by VAST, and now #22 is over- "Playboy Mommy" by Tori Amos, making room for "3 x 5" by John Mayer.

My new part time gig

2005-11-16T22:12:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged much about this yet, but I'm a total dog nut. My husband and I have three, two beagles and an urban hybrid. I even make regular visits to a beagle owners' forum, where beag lovers from all over swap stories and pictures.

I'm totally retarded for my dogs, your dogs, homeless dogs, the neighbor's dogs, purebred dogs, genetically miscellaneous dogs, big dogs, little dogs, etc.

I had my first day of volunteering with our local Animal Rescue Foundation (ARF) last Saturday. I went to PetSmart from 9:30-2 and helped show dogs and cats available for adoption. I plan to go back once or twice a month.

It was so much fun! There were two beagles there that need homes- a 1 year old boy called Copper and a 14 week old girl called Jenny. I got to play with them and show them off.

Of course, I didn't neglect the other needy dogs! They were all very sweet and lovable. I'd have taken them all home if I could, especially the two sweetie pie freakin' adorable Doxie mixes, Cinnamon and Dumpling.

I also visited with lots of dogs that came in to shop, including an awesome beagle whose job it was to hear for her hearing impaired human. Sadly, I forgot her name, but she was a sweet and hardworking beagle girl!

I even helped a lady with a young Boston terrier who came in for a puppy obedience class. She was having trouble walking the adorable lad, as he had a tendency to choke himself with excitement. So I recommended a body harness, and lo and behold, she bought him one.

It was a great day all around. I am looking forward to my next shift.

There was one caveat, however. (Isn't there always?)

For some reason, the humans I worked with were less than friendly. I don't know if they think I'm not going to come back, or that maybe I'm just like the two high school girls who were there only because they need service hours for school. Hopefully, if that is the case, they'll see that I'm there because I love animals, and I want to help get them good homes.

Make April 15th Just Another Day

2005-11-16T09:10:00.000-08:00

I'm a fan of the FairTax, which is a proposed plan to overhaul our federal tax system.

I know, I know, taxes...*booooorrrriiiiiinnnnggggg*

But come on, people. Take a look at your paystub. How much of your money is being taken from your check every week? Do you even have a clue? This plan would make things more fair, and it would make Mom and Pop Normal realize just how much taxes the government levies on everyone.

For those of you who may not be familiar, here are some facts about the plan, courtesy of Americans For Fair Taxation.

The FairTax:

Creates jobs where the current system destroys jobs. By stripping out hidden federal income taxes and compliance costs, the FairTax makes U.S. goods more competitive overseas and more afordable at home, thereby sharply increasing job creation while sharply reducing our balance of payments deficit.

Gives you your whole paycheck. No federal withholding! What you earn, you get.

Eliminates Social Security withholding, the most regressive tax of all, while ensuring the system fulfills its promise to one generation without being a terrible burden on the next.

Eliminates the corporate taxes and costs of compliance hidden in both wholesale and retail prices.

Dramatically lowers effective tax rates for lower- and middle-income; a rebate ends taxes up to the poverty level.

Allows families to save more and faster for home ownership, education, and retirement.

Allows homeowners to pay their entire house payment with pretax dollars, a great improvement over the current home interest deduction.

Frees up time wasted on filling out cumbersome and inscrutable IRS forms throughout the economy to the tune of $250 billion or more (about three percent of GDP).

Raises the same amount of revenue for the federal government (revenue neutral). Retail costs stay the same.

Taxes the trillion-dollar underground, criminal, drug, and porn economy.

Makes taxation of income unconstitutional by supporting the repeal of the 16th Amendment.

Eliminates the IRS as we know it.

Recipe Tuesday, Episode One

2005-11-15T13:26:00.000-08:00

I've decided to make Tuesdays a special day to post recipes on my lovely little blog here. I love to cook, and at least one of my very few blogreaders does as well. A blogtastically belated Happy Birthday- you know who you are!

Today's recipe is Homemade Microwave Popcorn. It's delicious and nutritious!

You will need:

Raw popcorn
Brown paper lunch sack
Stapler
Butter or margarine
Salt (regular or popcorn salt- kosher is too chunky)
Microwave

Pour enough popcorn into the paper sack to cover the bottom. A little overlap is OK. Fold the top of the bag over once and staple twice. No, the staples will not spark or cause a fire in your microwave.

Flatten the stapled sack and lay it on its side in the microwave. Zap for as long as your microwave takes to pop a bag of corn, plucking the bag out when popping slows to a couple seconds between pops. (If you can smell burnt popcorn, it's too late. Start over.)

For you morons out there, watch out! It's hot and stuff! Don't burn your ignorant self on the staples or the steam!

Dump the corn into a bowl, drizzle with melted butter or margarine, and sprinkle liberally with salt.

Butter works better than margarine; margarine has a tendency to make the corn soggy because of its water content.

Now you have a tasty, healthy (and cheap!) afternoon snack that can even be made at work. Do like I do and keep a bag of corn with a stack of paper sacks in your desk.

Enjoy, but don't forget the toothpick to clean your toofs afterward.

They're at it again...

2005-11-09T10:37:00.000-08:00

San Francisco Voters Approve Handgun Ban

The Coalition of the Stupid is at it again. When guns are outlawed, only criminals will have guns. Do these morons really think that criminals, thugs, gangsters, and various other nefarious ne'er-do-wells will VOLUNTARILY turn in all of their weapons?

Seriously.

They'll still be armed, and Mom and Pop Normal will have their fannies waving nekkid in the breeze, just waiting to be robbed.

Kick me in the pants if I ever decide it might be a good idea to move to the Left Coast.

When do you ask for a raise?

2005-11-09T09:50:00.000-08:00

When does one ask for a raise from one's boss?

I've been in my current position for just over a year at the same rate of pay. This position was a promotion from a lower one, and came with a $1.00 per hour raise last fall.

The job I do now was created when it was offered to me. No one had been doing what I do before, and no one in the company can do it now either.

My basic function is one of accounting. It's basic stuff such as clearing checks, wires, and deposits, with the daily messes thrown in.

The clincher, in my opinion, is that my plain ole accounting has a serious fiduciary responsibility to it.

I'm doing escrow accounting, with one of our bank accounts carrying an average daily balance of around $10 to $15 million.

Yes, MILLIONS.

None of it is our money; it all belongs to people obtaining mortgages.

Hence, the responsibility.

My main job entails reconciliation of the bank accounts each month. Last month, I had my largest discrepancy thus far, a whopping $0.85 cents off in the balance.

In months previous, the discrepancy has been zero to $0.05.

So why shouldn't I ask for a raise?

My husband seems to think I should just let it be.

Bullshit, I say.

I'm the only person here with an office who's not a manager. I don't have any underlings to call my own, but I sure as hell have a lot on my shoulders. I don't really care if I have the manager title or not, but I think I have earned a raise.

It seems only fair. Comments?

Wednesday Already?

2005-11-02T09:02:00.000-08:00

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: WMP on random, song of the moment is "Mamacita" by Outkast.

Made it through Halloween just fine. I wore an 80s chick costume all day- neon green off the shoulder tee, jean skirt, big bangs, side pony á la Deb from Napoleon Dynamite. Oh yeah...Rockin' the side ponytail. We actually had quite a few trick-or-treaters, which was nice. The dogs got in some quality barking time with every one.

Of course, there were the requisite surly teenagers dressed in all black "costumes." I think 13+ is too old for trick or treating; go to a costume party if you like, take a baby sibling out, but don't come shuffling and mumbling to my doorstep unless you are damn perky for a teenager.

The CUTEST kid all night was a little girl who looked about three. She had on a fuzzy horse outfit, smiled and said "Twick oh tweat." I knelt down and asked her if she could do horsie noises for me, and her mom said she wasn't sure, but she could do piggy noises. Mom said, "Do your piggy sound!" This adorable little girl smiled and said "Soooooiieeeeee!" I almost fell over from the cuteness.

My First Meme

2005-10-25T15:51:00.000-07:00

Apparently, there's this blog phenom called "meme"- a bunch of random questions of varying types designed to reveal a blogger's innermost feelings, or something like that. You get tagged by a fellow blogger and have to post your own answers to your blog. No one has tagged me, but I'm gonna start it today.

I tag Hardcore Doug and MattV.

Here are my responses.

~What were three of the stupidest things you have done in your life?
* Getting a somewhat meaningless tattoo on my shoulder blade when I was 18 - it made me choose a different wedding dress so I could hide it.
* Moving out of my dad's house and into my mom's when I was 15.
* Picking up that first cigarette. Luckily, I put down the last one many moons ago.

~At the current moment, who has the most influence in your life?
* My future kids. Sounds corny, but almost every decision I've made in the past few years is based on my desire to be a stay at home mother when we have a baby. I changed my college major to something more geared toward working from home, and I have stayed with a less than perfect job because of the pay, insurance, and ability to work from home in the near future.

~If you were given a time machine that functioned, and you were allowed to only pick up to five people to dine with, who would you pick?
* Albert Einstein - The man was a kooky genius with crazy hair. What's not to love?
* William Shakespeare - "Doubt thou the stars are fire, but never doubt I love." 'Nuf said.
* Jesus - To find out just exactly how screwed up his original messages have become by his present day so-called followers, and to see if he really did get married and have kids.
* Benjamin Franklin - Inventor and founding father. I'd ask him what he thinks about the way our country has evolved.
* Tie for fifth place - Buddha or Leonardo da Vinci.

~If you had three wishes that were not supernatural, what would they be?
* To be proficient in Spanish and German
* To be strong and physically fit (ok, and skinnier)
* To not need contact lenses anymore

I'M ADDING THIS QUESTION, BECAUSE WHO DOESN'T HAVE THEM?
~If you had three wishes that were supernatural, what would they be?
* The ability to communicate with animals
* The ability to mentally project and see events unfold miles away
* The ability to read thoughts without being detected

~Name two things you regret your city not having, and two things people should avoid.
* A good nightclub that doesn't allow teenagers or gangsta thugs
* More non-smoking bars

* The north side - ghetto trash
* The west side - trailer trash

~Name one thing that has changed your life.
* Meeting my man and getting married.

My brain is full of random crap.

2005-10-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

I wish you could empty your brain's cache once in a while. I have such a bunch of useless junk inside my head that I wonder if it takes up valuable space for knowledge I could be using.

Examples:

Bovine spongiform encephalopathy is more commonly known as mad cow disease. The disease takes hold in the central nervous system of cows- the brain and spinal cord.

The longest word in the English language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. It is a made up word for a lung disorder of people who have inhaled microscopic particles.

If you've watched The Sopranos with any regularity, you've likely heard of RICO statutes. The Racketeer-Influenced and Corrupt Organizations act is a set of federal laws used to prosecute organized crime.

I have over 20 GB of music at home and at work, and I know the lyrics to almost every song, including the Spanish ones.

Salt does not dissolve in oil.

Googleness

2005-10-21T14:39:00.000-07:00

I've read on a couple of blogs about this, so I tried it on myself. You go to Google and enter your first name plus the word "needs" in quotes. Here are my results.

~~~

Jennifer first needs to be made comfortable with the tension and conflicts. Jennifer needs an adviser with exceptional listening skills.

But the competition is getting tougher, so Jennifer needs to keep on improving.

Allow Jennifer additional time to complete the assignments.

But if the people are emotionally needy, then Jennifer needs space. Jennifer can march to the beat of a different drummer.

Jen needs this Diva Publicity like she needs a hole in the head!

Jennifer needs a thorough psychiatric evaluation.

Jennifer needs a smack daddy.

Jennifer needs a cold shower. Jennifer works at a strip club in Nevada.

~~~

What have these women been doing with our name???

Good grief.

What kind of killer are you?

2005-10-07T08:26:00.000-07:00

You are an assassin.
That means you are a proffessional and do your
job without mixing any emotions in it. In your
life you have probably been hurt many times and
have gotten some mental scars. This results in
you being distant from people. Though many
think that you are evil, you are not. What you
really are is a person, trying to forget your
pain and past. You are the person who never
seems to care and that is why being an assassin
fits you good. Atleast, that's what people
think. Even if you don't care that much for
your victims, you still have the ability to
care and to generally feel. It is not lost,
just a little forgotten. In crowds you tend to
not get to noticed, and dress in black or other
discrete colours. You don't being in the
spotlight and wish people would just leave you
alone. But once you do get close to someone you
have a hard time letting go and get real down
if you loose him/her.

Main weapon: Sniper
Quote: "The walls we build around
us to keep out the sadness also keep out the
joy" -Jim Rohn
Facial expression: Narrowed eyes

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

Never done learning

2005-09-27T11:39:00.000-07:00

I've discovered several blogs lately that have now joined my regular web-surfing routine. One of them is written by a scathingly witty and talented guy who goes by the handle Velociman. You will find his blog at http://www.velociworld.com.

Aside from the general entertaining content of his blog, his vocabulary and writing style are stunningly impressive. He inspires me to learn more big words. I've always been fairly competent where grammar, spelling, and vocabulary are concerned, having been spawned from a family full of proficient writers. I'm definitely interested in More Picturesque Speech, as Readers' Digest suggests. For the past few years, I've been more concerned with acquiring the basics of Spanish than plumbing the depths of my native tongue.

The following are some words from Velociman's blog that I had to look up:

sobriquet n. An affectionate or humorous nickname; an assumed name.

somnolent adj. Drowsy; sleepy. Inducing or tending to induce sleep; soporific.

ersatz adj. Being an imitation or a substitute, usually an inferior one; artificial.

ignominious adj. Marked by shame or disgrace; deserving disgrace or shame; despicable; degrading; debasing.

sclerotic adj. Relating to or having sclerosis; hardened.

venal adj. Open to bribery; mercenary. Capable of betraying honor, duty, or scruples for a price; corruptible. Marked by corrupt dealings, especially bribery.

vestigial adj. Occurring or persisting as a rudimentary or degenerate structure.

manse n. A cleric's house and land, especially the residence of a Presbyterian minister. A large stately residence.

bon mot n. A clever saying; a witticism.

Aside from the words I didn't know already, there are quite a few on V-man's blog that I pledge to use more often:

impunity
copious
harbinger
innocuous
miscreant
callow
prodigious
disconsolate

Maybe making use of a wider variety of big words will cut down on my all too frequent use of the four-letter variety. That's a habit I'd like to curb before downloading any tricycle motors of my own.

Monday Rant

2005-09-26T11:33:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Monday again, and I just might have to smack a bitch.

My DH and I work for the same company in two different functions. Right outside his office sits a loudmouthed, nosy, annoying chick. Today, she took it upon herself to YELL at my husband over speakerphone, practically demanding his presence in her department to fix a scanner problem she was having at someone else's desk. He had told her he could barely hear her the first time she asked, because she was on speaker and there was background noise. So she freaking yelled at him, "COME TO (DEPARTMENT)!!!"

He's laughing about it, but I'm fuming. I'm a mama bear when it comes to anyone messing with my man or my dogs. I'm liable to scratch this bitch's eyeballs out.

This is not the first time she's been shitty to him, or to me.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Yay! It's Friday!

2005-09-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

Finally, it's Friday again. Sweet.

After almost a week of feeling like pooty, I believe I am officially over my sinus infection.

If ever you get sick, go to the doctor! Do not bring your nastiness to the office and cough all over the keyboards and phones! And ESPECIALLY don't bring your sick kids to work with you if they have anything communicable! DH got the flu-turned-pneumonia two Christmases ago, thanks go a sick kid outside his office and DH's asthmatic lungs. I could just shoot the mother.

DH and I watched the Jackass movie again last night. We hadn't watched it in quite a while, and laughed our butts off. I had forgotten some of the moronic shit those guys do. Wee Man rocks!

LIST TIME!

A few short lists of totally sweet things.

My Hollywood boyfriends:
~ The Rock (Walking Tall, Be Cool, The Scorpion King) - The eyebrow thing may be cheesy, but it's still cute. He has the same characteristics that attracted me to my husband: nice guns, bald head, great legs and butt, and a killer smile.
~ Johnny Knoxville (Jackass, Dukes of Hazzard) - Once in a while, I just like a hot but goofy short-haired rocker type.
~ Ryan Reynolds (Blade Trinity, Van Wilder) - He was not particularly hot in Van Wilder, but in the movie stills from Blade with his wee beard and nice muscles...Ay, Chihuahua!

Albums I'm currently wearing out:
~ Black Eyed Peas - Monkey Business
~ anything by John Mayer
~ Ben Folds Five - The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner, Rockin' The Suburbs
~ Josh Groban - Closer
~ Garden State soundtrack
~ Shakira - Fijación Oral

Songs I'm currently wearing out:
~ Rihanna - Pon De Replay
~ Alice In Chains - Shame In You
~ Black Eyed Peas - The Apl Song
~ Damien Rice - Volcano

Books I'm reading now/have read recently:
~ Dan Brown - Deception Point (**** so far)
~ Robert Ludlum - The Parsifal Mosaic (*** so far)
~ Dean Koontz - Demon Seed (**)
~ Dean Koontz - The Face (*****)

No big plans for the weekend...just a little fall garden maintenance (replacing summer annuals with some loverly fall colored mums, perhaps), and the Nebraska game on TV tomorrow. Go Big Red!

This design your own hell thing is so much fun...

2005-09-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

Unsupervised teenagers, Baby daddies, Baby mamas
Circle I Limbo

Loud ass nosy bitches
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Smokers
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Cindy Sheehan
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Nancy Pelosi
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

People who get the office sick
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Ted Kennedy
Circle VII Burning Sands

Ghetto thugs
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Pregnant smokers
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

My Very Own Hell

2005-09-12T22:02:00.000-07:00

Scientologists, General asshats, Hipsters
Circle I Limbo

Riceboys, Goths, DMV Employees
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Militant Vegans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Bill Clinton
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Saddam Hussein, Qusay Hussein, Uday Hussein
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Creationists, PETA Members, Democrats
Circle VII Burning Sands

Osama bin Laden
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

NAMBLA Members
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

WTF???

2005-09-12T13:31:00.000-07:00

Ok. Those of you who work for large companies will probably get me on this one. If not, just go with me here.

The company I work for had around 12-15 employees when I first started two years ago. Thanks to good business and other factors, that number has now doubled, and we will be moving into our very own new lovely building in October.

However comma, this burgeoning enterprise still behaves like a small business in numerous ways. One of the most annoying ways is employee birthdays.

With 15 or so people (ok, women) working here, it seemed like a manageable task to collect five bucks or so from each person in the office per birthday. That money would be used to purchase a cake, birthday card, and a modest gift card. Friends of the birthday girl would also decorate her desk with balloons, streamers, whatever. Things can get pretty creative, and all in all, it makes one feel durn special to have your own theme birthday desk. Since I'm a dog lover, I had paw prints all over my walls and floor and some rawhide chewies for my beloved furkids in addition to balloons and confetti.

Our boss, bless him, even buys lunch for the whole crew (once per week if there are multiple b-days in that month).

BUT...now that the company has literally doubled in size, this birthday mess has become one huge pain in the ass.

There's a girl upstairs who's been here for about a month. Due to the fractured nature of our current renting situation, my office is nowhere near hers and I've only seen her in passing. I don't know her last name, and I'm not sure she even knows that I work here. (I have my own office, separate from other departments.)

This doesn't seem to matter, as I've been told in not so many words that I should contribute to her birthday even though we haven't ever been introduced.

Normally, requests for contributions to the birthday are made by email- if you can or want to contribute, you do so. You are not asked outright and put in the position of having to say "no."

About a week ago, contributions were being taken for one of our part-timers, a piece of crap 18 year old bratty high school boy who at one time was fired and re-hired and at least two times was caught having looked at porn on company computers. I caught him once, right out in plain view, watching a video of what was clearly sex. He's disrespectful, rude, and lazy, and the only reason he still has a job here is because his mom is a manager.

Basically, I don't like this little shithead. (Did I make that clear?)

The girl collecting for his birthday last week popped her head into my office and said, "Today's the last day to contribute for so-and-so's birthday. Did you want to throw in?"

I unceremoniously said, "Nope."

She seemed taken aback and repeated, "Nope?"

(Uhh, did I fucking stutter?) "Nope," I said once again.

"Ooohhhkayyyy...," she said, rolling her eyes as she closed my office door.

Something's gotta give with this birthday business.

Yucky Weekend

2005-09-12T08:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I spent Saturday and Sunday being sick. It sucked. I'm still sick today, but came to work anyway. I felt it coming on late Friday night- the itchy tickle in my soft palate that signals sinus trouble is in the mail. My ears started feeling full and I took a decongestant before bed. Saturday morning, I woke up with a horrible sore, swollen, scratchy throat from all the drainage. I basically wound up being a vegetable all day long, alternating between sleeping in bed and napping on the couch.

DH was kind enough to pick up dinner that would not irritate my throat further. I had some lovely, soft, and tasty chicken and dumplins from Cracker Barrel. I woke up just long enough to realize that the Nebraska game WAS in fact on TV in our area. They stomped the Wake Forest Deacons 31-3. Go Huskers! After my drug-induced sleep all day, DH wound up waking me from the couch around 11:30 and telling me to go to bed. I slept all night, occasionally waking briefly and then falling back asleep.

The crappiest part about being sick all day was having to cancel our blood donation appointment for Sat. morning. I was already several weeks behind, but it'll have to wait again.

Sunday was not much different, except that I actually woke up and stayed awake after about 2:30 in the afternoon. Mind you, this doesn't mean I left the house or even got dressed, but I did take a shower and put on fresh lounge wear. I was a bit productive, however- I did some laundry and dishes, and continued reading my current book, The Parsifal Mosaic by Robert Ludlum. I also made dinner- meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

DH and I watched two back to back episodes of Rome last night on HBO. It promises to be a very good series.

Grammar and Spelling, Part Two

2005-09-09T11:11:00.000-07:00

~ The word judgment only has one e.

~ Quotation marks are for quotes- not to "emphasize" something or "attract attention" to "words."

~ Plurals don't have apostrophes, i.e. boy/boys, dog/dogs, house/houses.

Edit on 9/9: OK, so I put quotes around the word mama in my profile. I guess I have a tendency to do that around special terms or non-words. Is it grammatically correct? Let me know.

A little bit of nostalgia

2005-09-07T10:45:00.000-07:00

When I was in high school, my friends and I put together a "Pet Peeves" list. It was a constant source of discussion at the lunchroom table, and the list became an entity unto itself.

Here's my own grammar/spelling version for September 7, 2005.

~ Your/you're, there/their, less/fewer, its/it's - they're not that difficult to tell the difference between!

~ "Irregardless" is not a word. "Regardless" is.

~ Saying "we was," "they done," "you is," and "ax a question" are good ways to show people you're a moron.

Get it straight, dammit! Not surprisingly, most of the people I know that make these errors are the same ones that complain about Mexican immigrants not speaking enough English. Way to set a good example when you can't even speak/write your own language, you big dumb animal!

Dumbest freaking news headline to date

2005-09-07T07:15:00.000-07:00

How's this for an asinine headline?

"Hurricane Katrina to Increase Joblessness"

Uh, ya don't say? What was your first clue? Was it the thousands of people who no longer have a physical place of employment, or the fact that most of Nawlins is now under sewage-laced water with corpses bobbing about?

How about "Scientists Think 8 Foot Floodwaters May Damage Property" or maybe even "120 Mph Winds Thought to Damage Trees"???

The fact is that while the Big Sleazy might have been devastated, its residents will now likely take up employment in the cities where they have landed, whether temporarily or permanently. The clean-up job down there is going to be monumental and lengthy. Who do you suppose will be doing that work, robots?

Labor Day weekend

2005-09-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

Back to work after a nice long weekend. yay.

It was very hard to drag my ass out of bed today. If I didn't have to feed demanding dogs every morning, there's no way I'd ever get up before 10. It's not that I don't get enough sleep- it's just that I'm lazy and I love sleeping.

So I guess I owe you readers (if there are any) a little info about me. I'm 29, female, married, a recent college graduate (Summa Cum Laude...go me), and employed full time in a job that has nothing to do with my college degree. My degree is in paralegal studies. I'm holding out here for now, because the job is easy, this company will allow me to work from home and keep my insurance and 401-K when DH and I have a baby, which we're planning to do in the next year or so.

Politically, I'm conservative with heavy emphasis on civil liberties. I'm registered Republican so I can vote in primaries in my state, but I'm increasingly interested in the Libertarian party. I'd rather bleed from my eyeballs than vote for a Democrat. (Gee...is that concise enough?) I basically believe that people's lives should be free from unnecessary interference by the government. My main departures from the Republican party include my belief that gays should be allowed to marry, that the "war on drugs" is a huge waste of resources, and that churches should keep their big noses out of government.

Religious, I'm not. I was raised Catholic but became agnostic around age 19. If I were compelled to pick a religion right now, it would probably be Buddhism. It seems to me the only one that makes sense, and the only one that's not power drunk. I'd never attend any other Christian church except a Catholic one; the ritual and familiarity are what I'm used to. Plus, evangelical churches are just plain creepy. Another thing I'd prefer bleeding eyes to is being Muslim. Violence, misogyny, ass-backwardsness, black tents as my sole fashion option...hey, that's the religion for me!!!

I have a lot of pet peeves. Many of them have to do with poor speech and careless writing. Others include smoking (no truer believer than a convert- I'm an ex-smoker), shitty parenting, unwed parents, druggies, animal abuse/neglect (a PETA fan I'm not, however- crazies, the lot of them), welfare leeches, man haters, those drunks that stand on the side of the highway with "Homeless Vet- Need Help- God Bless" signs, and store-bought ready to eat food.

Believe it or not, there are things I like: cooking, baking, reading, crafts, painting, dogs, driving, computers, Neal Boortz, Dr. Laura, Tom Clancy, Robert Ludlum, crocheting, news junkie-ism, gardening, organizing, law, and most of all, my husband.

Intro

2005-09-05T16:03:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new blog, Skwerly Life. I've been contemplating this for a while, and viewing some other blogspot blogs has made me finally get off my ass and do it.

The cast of characters for now includes DH, my dear husband. Other folks will be introduced as needed. DH and I have been married for 2 years, together for 6. We have 3 dogs, no human kids yet.

I honestly don't have anything witty to say right now, so I'll spare you.