What I've learned so far about being a mom

Having had the tewtelly adorable Bebeh D'Skwerly around for almost 3 months now has taught me a few things.

Here is a list of some of the stuff I have learned.

~ No matter how diligently you diaper your precious baby, eventually, poop will make its way up her back and all over her clothes.

~ A Sam's Club (or Costco) membership is worth the fees, because you can get a box of 216 Pampers diapers for around $37. (A 40-pack from the grocery store usually runs around $10.) Wipes in bulk and a jumbo sized bottle of Shout have also come in quite handy for the aforementioned poop.

~ The cute little printed terry burp cloths from the baby department are absolutely useless. They soak right through. I've wound up using more sturdy towels out of my kitchen and bathroom instead.

~ All those onesies and footie-jammies sure looked adorable at the beginning, but now that she's almost 3 months old, I'm getting tired of seeing her in only pajamas. Time for some real clothes! Eensy dresses! Tiny jeans! Wee cardigans!

~ The cutest baby socks (Winnie the Pooh socks from Target) were the crappiest fitting. They have wide ankles and tiny feet, leading them to fall off constantly.

~ Disregard everything you hear during pregnancy about what parenthood is going to be like. You really can't know until you get here just how much it changes you, your marriage, and your life.

~ I never imagined I'd enjoy this weird combination of smells on my baby- a mixture of breastmilk, baby powder, and Boudreaux's Butt Paste.

~ The other night, just when I thought I was going to lose it over being awake at 4 a.m. yet again (not having gone to bed at all), I looked down at my baby while she nursed. At that moment, she stopped nursing long enough to smile at me, with milk drooling from the side of her mouth. All was right with the world.

~ My husband has wound up being WAY more neurotic about stuff than I have, which surprised me. (We both have our neuroses, but I thought I'd be the wackier one.)

~ I can't imagine doing this without my husband, and I absolutely cannot fathom why anyone would willingly undertake it alone.

~ Mothers who work outside the home are jealous of those of us who only work inside it, regardless of the fact that I planned it this way with a lot of hard work and a careful choice of a man who wanted to support a family. Not that I blame them- you'd have to be a real sociopath to want to be away from your child(ren) all day long, with someone else doing the raising. But they turn their righteous envy into a shitty attitude and snarky comments about me being "lucky," or that it "must be nice." As my darling husband says, if you're pissing people off, you must be doing something right.